We all know there is a very real double standard when it comes to women and casual sex. Men can have sex with whoever, whenever and it is completely socially acceptable. Sure, they may get labeled for it. Women warn their friends about the manwhore or male slut they have dated but the truth is even these labels are worn by men as a badge of honor. Even many women disregard these labels because this behavior is socially acceptable and somewhat expected of men.
Women who have sex on impulse or have sex outside a committed relationship aren’t viewed as independent and adventurous. The societal perception of women enjoying and expressing their sexuality is far less flattering. Boy will be boys; women are sluts.
Over the past few years, with events like “SlutWalks” happening all over the country and the public outcry over the “War on Women” things have slowly begun to change. Women have become more united. They are working toward finding their collective voice. Slut shaming and the poorly conceived concept that women are primarily or solely to blame for unplanned pregnancy are no longer acceptable. We have truly begun to stand to together for our sisters. We are beginning to unite!
Women are taking a strong stance against the negativity surrounding female sexuality, expression and the idea that we are solely to blame for anything that could go wrong (e.g. rape, unplanned pregnancy.) As a result, we are learning to embrace our sexual selves. We are better coming together to deal with all of the negative social stigma surrounding women and their sex lives.
The truth is women should be afforded the same sexual freedom and respect men receive. Expressions of our sexuality are just as important as men’s. The truth is sexual expression and enjoying one’s sexual freedom is an important part of any individual’s life. We can all find strength in expressing our sexuality. It is something we should be allowed to explore without being judged or viewed negatively regardless of our how we choose to express it.
How much or little we choose to explore our sexual identity is not something that should be accepted based on gender. As with every other trait humans possess, our sexuality is unique and we should all be permitted to explore that individuality without fear of being labeled or persecuted. We should all be able to express ourselves proudly, male or female. We should be celebrating our autonomy, universally.
Posted by trjensen on June 20, 2012
I got a string of very interesting comments when I first posted information about what will hopefully be the first of many Portland SlutWalks. And yes I plan on attending. Anyone who reads my blog knows that one of my favorite topics of discussion is sex. I like talking about the subject and I really like sex. As a result the visits to my blog have increased drastically and not everyone is fan.
I love that people are interested in what I have to say and that most of my readers understand and can relate to what I share, which is my journey of personal growth. There have been several occasions where I have received an email or other message deploring my personal choices or some aspects of how I represent myself. I have been called a slut, a whore and immoral.
I actually smile when I receive those messages. They actually amuse me. Am I promiscuous? Absolutely not. Would like to have sex more than I do and be comfortable with seeking those opportunities out? Yes I fucking would. Society conditions women to feel that by expressing their own sexual freedom they are demeaning themselves. Women who find pleasure in sexual experiences are dirty or somehow perverse, while men who take advantage of their own sexual freedom are studs. They are viewed as heroes to their peers. They are someone to look up to and glorify.
I believe that any sexual expression regardless of gender is a wonderful thing. Judging people based on prowess or quantity is unacceptable. Labeling someone as slut or whore is ridiculous. To me being a slut is not an act, it is an attitude. Every woman has a right to express her sexual freedom. And by attempting to shame her for doing so is offensive. We live in a society that that accepts its archaic, sexist double standards.
Slutwalk Portland aims to change that. Slut is one of the ”go to” insults not only from men but women as well. Why are we degrading each other for expressing our sexuality? I think anyone who is comfortable with themselves and honest about what they want is someone to be admired. While we might not want the same things we should not be cutting each other down for being different. Support your sisters! We are all different and beautiful. We should be free to live our lives just like our male counterparts.
Slutwalk also aims to raise awareness about the sexist attitudes surrounding rape. No woman asks to be raped. It is often implied that intoxication, style of dress and the way a woman behaves are reasons for sexual assault. It is one of the most offensive forms of slut shaming and that has to change. Women are carelessly blamed for being victims of sex crimes by the perpetrators, law enforcement and legislators.
Slutwalk Portland is set to take place on July 31, 2010. They are still in need of funding to ensure the event takes place. This is an important step for women’s right. I hope that many of you will attend and if you cannot that you can make a small donation for a great cause.
For more information about the Portland Slutwalk and how you can get involved visit their webpage. You can also like them on Facebook by clicking here.
Posted by trjensen on June 1, 2011