“Shit!” I mumbled as I stared at the huge wet spot on my sofa. I bent down and placed my hand on the spot. It was still pretty wet. “Shit, shit, shit!” I said out loud. I grabbed a towel, laid it on the wet spot and pressed all the weight I could into the towel. I removed the towel and checked the spot again. It was still wet but not as bad as it had been. It was still going to be noticeably damp for quite a while.
The wet spot roughly the ten inches in circumference wasn’t going to dry anytime soon and I had invited my niece to spend a few nights and have Thanksgiving dinner with me. She usually slept on the sofa. We also spent a great deal of time just sitting around chatting. There was no way anyone would be sitting or sleeping on my sofa that night. I wasn’t worried about explaining what had happened. I would simply ay I had spilt something on the couch. That was lie but I couldn’t and wouldn’t explain what really happened to a sixteen year old.
A little while before I had to set out to pick my niece up it had occurred to me that I wouldn’t be having any orgasms for the week she would be here. I decided I better get one in before she got there. I needed to make it quick so I grabbed a toy, went to a porn site and got comfortable on the couch. About three minutes later my legs were shaking as I started to climax. As I finished and began to pull the toy out of my still contracting pussy. As I did so it tightened, practically pushing the toy out. “Oh no!” I half groaned as I started to squirt. I put my hand between my legs trying to stop the flow of liquid shooting out from between my legs. This redirected the flow of the liquid quickly spraying the couch rather than spraying the wall in front of me. I could feel the puddle of fluid collecting under my ass.
I laid on the couch for a few moments still trembling and enjoying the after effects of my huge orgasm. I then sat up and realized the fairly moderate pool of ejaculant was now soaking into me couch. I tossed the toy aside and grabbed a towel, soaking up as much of it as I could. I stood for a moment staring at the spot and checked again to see how wet the couch still was. My squirting had become an almost every time occurrence during masturbation but I could usually limit or stop it by keeping whatever I was using (toy, fingers…) inside me while I was contracting. I didn’t do that this time.
I hadn’t been thinking clearly and now my couch looked like Lake Michigan. If I want to watch porn I have to do it in the living room because my laptop doesn’t get a very good wi-fi signal otherwise. I tried until it was time to leave, to occasionally blot the spot in the hopes that it would dry more quickly. It was still visibly damp when we went to get my niece. Lovely, just lovely.
When I picked her up I warned her that I had spilled a bottle of water on the couch and that we would have to think of alternate sleeping arrangements. Thankfully female ejaculant is clear and odorless. I decided in needed to stop masturbating in community areas, at least when I am expecting guests.
Squirting feels amazing and I love that I can do it but it is kind of a pain in the ass. The more frequently you squirt, the more you actually squirt. It is messy and leaves a giant wet spot wherever you orgasm. That part is horrible. I need to invest in more towels or start put plastic on my furniture. I will simply have to explain to my friends that I am not one of those crazy women trying to keep her ugly 1970s furniture looking brand new.
Posted by trjensen on December 14, 2012
Disclaimer: Some of you may not want to read this. It is pretty graphic which I am good at but it still may make some of my regular readers uncomfortable. This is a shining example of why I’ll never be Freshly Pressed.
The first time I squirted I was in my late teens and was the only one in the room. I didn’t know what the hell had happened. I actually thought I peed while I was masturbating. I was young and had no one to ask about it. It proved to be an isolated incident. Years later, in my twenties I discovered women could ejaculate but I hadn’t had that happen since I was a teenager and I shrugged it off.
As any woman who squirts knows, when you can squirt (and I’ve actually read most women can but don’t have a partner who can get her to the point that she would) you feel a lot of pressure as your vagina tightens. When this happens it feels a lot like you have to pee. So at a young age I assumed that is what happened. After said initial incident, I would often feel like I was going to pee/squirt during sex but it never happened. I really didn’t think much of it. When I watched porn if a girl squirted I didn’t really relate it to what I was experiencing.
I didn’t squirt again until I was 37. I had randomly hooked up with a much younger guy. While we were having sex (Pakistani Drill Press), as I started to cum and tighten up he pulled out. My entire body became tenser and I became aware of the warm liquid that was now running down the inside of my legs, down my pussy and all over my partner’s abdomen. As my body relaxed, he slid his index and ring fingers curved face upward into my still trembling pussy, began massaging my g-spot and moved his hand up and down quickly until my body tensed again. My sheet was quickly becoming saturated and as he started the movement again I grabbed his wrist. He smiled at me and said, “I didn’t know you could squirt.” “Neither did I,” I responded. He shook his hand free of my hold and made me come one more time to prove it. When I asked him how he knew to pull out he explained that his last girlfriend squirted. He explained that when a girl is going to squirt it feels like her pussy is pushing him out. I asked him about nine million questions and he answered the best he could.
I had sex several times after that and didn’t squirt again. About a month after the incident I began sleeping with another man who asked if I could squirt and I told him that I couldn’t do it reliably. He could make me squirt with his fingers too. A few partners later (What?!?! I told you I get around), it happened during anal and then again with the guy after that. I never squirted regularly. I orgasm easily but I didn’t always squirt.
After a while I was able to do it masturbating. This is not something I like to happen when I am alone because the novelty of it doesn’t really thrill me and it is kinda’ messy. Because I masturbate a lot and my squirting is involuntary, it happens just about every time I have alone time, now. I don’t projectile squirt like Cytherea but my orgasm do seem to be getting stronger. I can sometimes stop it just by not removing whatever is inserted in vagina but then it builds up and after two or three times of not squirting when my body wants to, I squirt a lot. This can be a problem when I just want to rub one out quickly and go about my business because there tends to be a giant wet spot somewhere. I live in very closed quarters with limited wifi access. This means if I want to watch porn and masturbate I have to go to the living room…
Posted by trjensen on December 5, 2012
For the bulk of my seventeenth year of life I had sex with one person and one person only. I started sleeping with a guy a barely knew a week before the start of my senior year of high school and continued sleeping with him until just before I graduated. In the entire span of our “relationship” I only had two orgasms in probably one hundred sexual encounters.
I didn’t know what an orgasm was when I seventeen, well not a female orgasm. I didn’t know women could have orgasms. One night after having sex with my high school boyfriend at the house I was babysitting at he asked, “Did you like it?” I said that I did although I wasn’t sure. The look on face must not have been convincing because he asked, “Well did you cum?” I was puzzled by the question because boys cum not girls but I guessed that he had either been misinformed or I was missing something. “Yes,” I responded. “How many times?” “Five,” I answered. I assumed this was a good answer as I could see how proud of himself he was.
I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about but he stopped asking. I soon forgot about the question nor did I feel the need to delve any deeper into what the question had meant. About two months later, in the backseat of a car my boyfriend and I began making out. He asked if I would fuck him. I said that I would and my pants were off in a flash. I remember I was more excited than normal, we had been making out for a while and his hands had been busier than they normally were. Typically our sexual encounters were rushed and there was little to no foreplay. This time it lasted a little longer and my kitty had received some heavy petting prior to penetration.
He took his time with me. He was much slower and gentler than he had been in the past. He raised one of my legs so that it was resting on his shoulder and then began thrusting faster and harder. All at once my body began to shake and felt very warm. My toes began to tingle and the sensation began creeping up legs. As it consumed my lower half, my heart began to race and my head began to feel light. I remember being scared, I thought I was having a heart attack or a stroke. At that moment my vaginal muscles began to contract. I pulled my boyfriend closer to me digging my nails into his back. I was terrified. In a moment my body relaxed and my boyfriend pulled out and climaxed on my stomach.
I didn’t mention the incident. My boyfriend didn’t seem to notice that I had nearly had a stroke in the middle of our sexual encounter. I was too embarrassed by the incident to mention it to my friends, because obviously something was wrong with me. For the next few days I thought about my “episode” constantly. After much reflection I decided that what had happened that night did actually feel pretty amazing although I was sure it was not normal.
I decided to try and recreate the conditions on my own and see if the same thing would happen. One night a week later I lay in bed and brought myself to climax for the first time. Suddenly it made a little more sense, I wasn’t sure what was happening but I was sure I wanted it to. I still didn’t mention it to my friends because I didn’t know any seventeen year old girls who admitted to masturbating. Although that night I definitely became a big fan of masturbation.
Sometime later, after my boyfriend gave me my second coital orgasm I finally learned what was happening to my body. I was sitting around talking to a group of female friends where one girl was retelling a story of a sexual encounter she had had with some guy at a party. She said, “I came so hard he had to cover my mouth to keep me from screaming. My legs were shaking so badly I couldn’t walk.” A little light bulb lit up above my sexually inexperienced noggin. I had been having orgasms.
So nearly six months after I had nearly had my first “stroke,” I learned what a female orgasm was. And I surely did love them. I still love them. It changed the way I looked at sex and myself. I realized that I was supposed to enjoy sex and that I could. It would be a while before I would find a partner who was skilled enough to help achieve climax on a consistent basis but from that moment on it all made more sense. I have still never come five times in one session but a girl can dream. I am still looking for the right man for the job.
Posted by trjensen on June 24, 2011
Since everyone seems far more interested in my blog when I am disclosing personal and often embarrassing information about my sexual history and I have had requests to be more explicit in the retelling of said very personal, often embarrassing stories I am going to write about my “firsts” for the next week or so. My intention is to write about as many of them as I can think of and post them every other night.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about whether or not I was concerned about future employers reading my blog. I like talking about my life and I like that most of the time the things I share are amusing albeit inappropriate for some audiences. It isn’t like I am looking for job working with children.* I produce video and write freelance articles, articles that are almost always about dating and bad relationships and my blog really helps that aspect of my professional career far more than it damages it. If anything I am more afraid of the impact it might have on my dating life once I actually get to the point of wanting a relationship.
So in the interest of trying to write something that is a little further out of my comfort zone and spending a couple of weeks writing about two of my favorite things, sex and myself, I am going to share some of my personal experiences in greater detail. And if there are any requests leave a comment and I’ll share that first experience too.
* Fun fact: I did produce and direct an award winning children’s series for two years.
Posted by trjensen on June 13, 2011