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25 Things about Me: This is 40 Edition

In honor of my 40th birthday, which is today,  I decided to do an updated “Things about Me” post (ever evolving and growing as I am). So… I would like to briefly interrupt my continued posts, Sexting for Dummies (It’ll be back Monday) and share where my head is on this, my milestone birthday.Invite Cover

  1. I am completely cool and comfortable with the fact that I am now 40.
  2. My son assured me I wouldn’t be old until I was 45.
  3. My ex told me I wouldn’t be old until I was 50.
  4. I have always felt like I was 24.
  5. I rather be told I am funny or smart than I am pretty.  (I love being told I am pretty too, though).
  6. I still like younger men.
  7. I want a dog.
  8. Do 120+ crunches every day.
  9. I run three miles and walk at least three.
  10. I try to do yoga every day.
  11. I’ve started eating meat occasionally.
  12. If I stay here I may be single forever.
  13. I haven’t had sex in 10 months.
  14. I really miss Portland.
  15. I am looking for my own place.  A real place.
  16. I love my job but I need more hours.
  17. I would really like to start dating again but I haven’t met one viable candidate.
  18. I had pregnancy scare last September.
  19. I have no desire to have another child.
  20. A 73 year old patron at my work has a crush on me.
  21. That grosses me out.
  22. I’ve decided I really don’t like the last two guys I dated.
  23. I love making people laugh.
  24. I need a vacation.
  25. I haven’t peaked yet.

Bonus Fact!!!! I have guest post up over at Black Box Warnings today! You should go check it out, too.

8 Comments
by trjensen on May 10, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Dating, Life, Me, Sex
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Posted by trjensen on May 10, 2013

http://narcissistsblog.com/2013/05/10/25-things-about-me-this-is-40-edition/

20 (or so) Questions

I’ve been tagged by SINGLEWRITERMOMRANTS, to answer a list of questions kind of like the slam books you filled out in high school. Scanning the questions made me smile and I got pretty excited about filling it out.

SINGLEWRITERMOMRANTS is one of my new favorite blogs.  I love her blog.  She has a fantastic sense of humor and I often find myself relating to her on about a million different levels.

So get comfy, sit back and enjoy as I answer questions about my favorite person, ME!

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
I was born in Apple Valley, CA, hometown of Oscar winner Cuba Gooding Jr. I grew up in Barstow, CA about thirty minutes away.Barstow

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?
My name was supposed to be Thea (pronounced Tay-Uh) Raylene after my mother’s two best friends from high school but after I was born, before the birth certificate was signed, my grandmother managed to convince my mother no one would spell Thea correctly so she named me Teri.  The irony is that no one spells my name correctly still.  I don’t know if the name meant something to her or not.

IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?
I have one boy who is now an adult.  One child for a single mom is more than enough.

HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?
I have a cat.  Surprise, surprise, I know! My son named her Buddha and she is absolutely gorgeous.  She is six years old.room10

YOUR WORST INJURY?
My appendix burst when I was twenty-three and almost killed me because I didn’t go to the hospital until the next day.  I thought I had food poisoning from sushi I had eaten that day.  I was in ICU for a week and the hospital for a total of ten days.icu

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Umm… I am full of random and seemingly useless knowledge.  I can also remember large sequences of numbers.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE?
I love to go online and find cookie and cake recipes all the time.  The problem with that is I never make the same thing more than once because I never bookmark the recipes.  I also make some mean enchiladas.bakery

FAVORITE FAST FOOD?
I am going to sound like a pretentious ass but I try not to eat fast food.  It is absolutely no good for me. But when I have had too much to drink I crave Jack-in-the-Crack (Jack-in-the-Box) tacos.jack

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I really don’t know if I would.  I am terrified of heights but I actually think if I were going to do it I would be more inclined to do it now.  Would I jump out of a plane? Fuck no!bungee

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
I admit I am a vapid asshole and that is the best response you’ll get.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I cried while I was watching Beasts of the Southern Wild.  I was beyond wasted and cried and cried while watched it.  It would have made me cry anyway but in my drunken stupor I just sobbed.beasts

ANY CURRENT WORRIES?
I really don’t have any serious concerns.  I just got a call about chaperoning my niece’s senior trip to Europe and I have never been.  All I have to do is get a passport and save spending money.  Other than that I can honestly say I don’t have any worries.trip4

NAME 3 DRINKS THAT YOU DRINK REGULARLY
Water, juice and more water.  I also like vodka.water

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?
I love A Brave New World.  I really do and it never ceases to relevant.  The last book I read that I hated… The Girl She Used to Be.  The further I got I began to think the two main characters really won’t going to fuck and became increasingly pissed off.  The end had me wanting to chuck the book at the girl who recommended it.  I am reading the sequel now.Books 1

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE?
Pirates are dirty. I like to bathe. My hygiene means more to me than booty. (And that means something coming from me.)bathtub

FAVORITE SMELLS?
Garlic, bacon, cinnamon rolls and a man fresh out of the shower.shower

WHY DO YOU BLOG?
I blog because if I don’t write it is quite possible I will go crazy.  I have always written and my blog is just an extension of who I am.writing

WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
I once told one of my closest friends I wanted to have a goldfish funeral.  I was only half kidding.  The idea of my nearest and dearest standing in and around a toilet attempting flush my ashes down a toilet only to have the toilet back up amuses the shit out of me.  Then of course someone would have to explain the whole situation to the plumber. And I am fully aware I didn’t list a song.toilet

WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I love myself but I can be pretty judgmental on occasion. I do a much better job but I may still need a douche jar.

FAVORITE HOBBY?
I love photography. I have never taken a class but I just love taking pictures.camera

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND?
I try to surround myself with people who overcome their circumstances, always want to be better and do what they say they will.phoenix

NAME SOMETHING YOU’VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D DO
Three years ago I made a list about three pages long of things I wanted to work on within myself.  During my transformation I lost over sixty pounds, completely changed my lifestyle and started blogging.list

FAVORITE FUN THINGS TO DO
I love, love, love to shop.  Orgasms. I love to get dressed up for no reason. Orgasms. I love Disney World.  Orgasms. I love waking up the morning after a new blog post and read all my readers’ comments and… Orgasms.disney

ANY PET PEEVES?
I have so many pet peeves and I have documented them in many other posts. The answer would be a whole blog post of its own. I guess my biggest pet peeve is people who don’t assume accountability for themselves.

WHAT’S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?
I wrote a post earlier today and I came across this vintage Valentine’s Day Card.  It cracked me up.  It was shocking and too fucking funny.Monkey_Valentine

And now I am going to tag some blogger’s to answer the questions themselves.

Seattlepolychick

Cakes McCain

AllAboutLemon

The Wandering Mind

BossyMoksie

8 Comments
by trjensen on February 14, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Life, Me, Relationship, Sex
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Posted by trjensen on February 14, 2013

http://narcissistsblog.com/2013/02/14/20-or-so-questions/

Somebody That I Used to Know

Yesterday I didn’t feel very well.  A bug has been passing through the houses on my family’s property and it seemed that some time yesterday I was tagged.  I spent most of the day with a migraine and a very upset stomach.  I tried to write but I was exceedingly lightheaded and slightly dehydrated.  I finished my challenge post then sat curled up on my sofa, wrapped in a blanket scanning various social media sites.

While I was scanning friends’ pages for writing ammo, my messenger popped up.  It was Pretty Boy. PB and I had kind of kept in touch.  He actually stopped by to see me just before my move.  We had remained socially friendly because we have some close friends in common and because I just don’t hate the dude.  We chatted and I listened (read) as PB detailed the current problems in his life, of which there seem to be many.

I told him that I hoped things started looking up for him soon.

I was pretty amused by his flirting and I never get sick of hot guys hitting on me so I continued to flirt with him for a while.

I have been stuck out in the middle of nowhere and I genuinely don’t mind it.  I like it out here.  What I don’t like is the fact that there really aren’t many, if any, real viable candidates for dating.  When I changed my dating profile to my new zip code, the options presented to me looked like the mutants from “The Hills Have Eyes”.  At very least they looked like human versions of the characters from “King of the Hill.”

I am getting to the point where I do want to socialize a little more.  Maybe a few dinners or just hanging out with the few friends I have here.  I think I could get a better idea of what’s out there.  There are attractive men around because they were hitting on me the entire time I was working at the fairgrounds.  I don’t know where the fuck they went and being attractive is only one piece of the bigger picture.  I am a very liberal, artsy girl living in a very small conservative community that believes liberal and communist are the same word.

I may have to keep shipping men in for the time being.  At least I am not in any way confused about how I feel about PB.  He’s a great guy and was fun to date. We couldn’t have been more.  We both like ourselves way too much to give each other what we needed in the long term. I can say positively that I don’t want a relationship with him but it would be cool if he wanted to visit.

2 Comments
by trjensen on November 12, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Dating, Life, Me, Relationship, Sex
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Posted by trjensen on November 12, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/11/12/somebody-that-i-used-to-know/

Day 9: 12 Facts About Me

I list facts about myself all the time just because I like to do. I shall try my best not to be redundant.

  1. I absolutely despise the color salmon. It is a gross orangey pink color and I don’t think it looks good on anything or anyone. It is atrocious.
  2. I have been filling out job applications for my son, who lives in another state.  He didn’t know I was doing it until someone called to schedule an interview.
  3. I own more than four working vibrators.
  4. Autumn is hands down my favorite season.
  5. I still don’t think I am ready to date seriously but I am really ready to go out on a date.
  6. If I tell someone something that isn’t true, regardless of how insignificant it is, I will always correct myself or tell the truth (often in the same breath).
  7. I have started smoking in my house.  I have never done that in my life and need to stop doing it now because I hate it.
  8. I absolutely love cooking holiday dinners all by myself with no help because having other people in the kitchen annoys the shit out of me.  I am the best cook I know.
  9. I have little respect or patience for people who don’t have faith in me. I don’t feel inclined to prove myself to anyone but myself.
  10. I absolutely hate it when anyone tells me how I feel about myself.  (Yes, I am still really angry about that.)
  11. I really like to word atrocious.
  12. I finally got a regular job!  Getting to hear all the beautiful things my former coworkers said about me made my heart smile.
14 Comments
by trjensen on November 8, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Dating, Life, Me
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Posted by trjensen on November 8, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/11/08/day-9-12-facts-about-me/

Day 5: 16 Things You Do When You Are Alone

I actually had to think about this one.  I thought it would be easy but it really wasn’t.

Things I do when I am alone…

  1. Masturbate sixteen times a day.  Just kidding.  I don’t think I have that in me. (Okay I do but…)
  2. I take pictures of myself.  (This is part of the reason I started getting called a narcissist.)
  3. I shower alone.  (Most of the time.)
  4. I write and write and write some more.
  5. I sing. (That is a gift to everyone around me.)
  6. I dance. (I don’t dance in public.)
  7. I watch movies.
  8. I read other people’s blogs.
  9. I go for walks or runs.
  10. I talk to my cat.
  11. I play video games.
  12. I spend way too much time on Facebook.
  13. I cry. (I find that sometimes too much time alone isn’t a good thing and I hate crying in front of anyone.)
  14. I clean my place.
  15. I talk to myself… a lot.
  16. I google random facts.  I lopve to look at Top Ten Lists of things. My brain is full of the most random knowledge. (And thank you to benzeknees for pointing out that I only had fifteen things on my list.)
11 Comments
by trjensen on November 1, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Life, Me
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Posted by trjensen on November 1, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/11/01/day-5-16-things-you-do-when-you-are-alone/

Day 2: 19 Quotes I Love

This is actually one of the prompts in this challenge I was most excited to write.  I retain things people say to me, and things I read because I am truly impacted by so many amazing people.  Here are nineteen of my favorite quotes in no particular order. I will comment and offer insight as I find it necessary.

  1. If you have it, you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have. – Sir James M. Barrie
  2. Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might win, by fearing to attempt. – Jane Addams
  3. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou
  4. It’s kind of fun to do the impossible. -Walt Disney
  5. You can invite people to your table but never let them eat off of your plate.  – Jessie ???  Earlier this year, I met a woman in here sixties and had the pleasure of joining her for lunch, on one of the most humbling days of my life.  She said this to me after I explained to her that I had found myself in a dire position because I had loaned someone money who wasn’t able to pay it back, thus leading me to request help from a community organization to pay my rent.  It was so profound and something I really needed to learn in so many aspects of my life.  After sharing this gem, she also told me I was stupid.
  6. Thinking the world will be nice to you because you’re a good person is like thinking a bull won’t gore you because you’re a vegetarian. –Tosha Richards
  7. It’s not you! It’s me. I don’t like you anymore! – Emma Stone Friends with Benefits.  It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true!
  8. Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror. – Byron Katie
  9. Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna’ be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.― Betty White
  10. There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you. – Maya Angelou
  11. Always concentrate on how far you have come, rather than how far you have left to go. The difference in how easy it seems will amaze you. – Heidi Johnson This is how I live my life!!
  12. The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. – Ayn Rand
  13. The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. – Alice Walker
  14. It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine. – Byron Katie
  15. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
  16. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey  Fierstein
  17. Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me. – Zora Neale Hurston
  18. Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else. – Gloria Steinem
  19. Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid. – John Wayne

I hope you enjoy and find these quotes as inspiring as I do.  What are some of your favorite quotes?

10 Comments
by trjensen on October 30, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Life, Me
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Posted by trjensen on October 30, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/10/30/day-2-19-quotes-i-love/

20 Day Challenge

… or How My Attempt to Create Less Work for Myself Didn’t Work

If am being entirely honest and I really do try to be, I sometimes have a hard time thinking of witty, dirty, soul crushing and/or funny topics to write about on a daily basis. I have been toying with the idea of doing a 30 Day Blog Challenge for a while now, because I am lazy and sometimes I just can’t think of something to write about. The problem is that I can’t really find a 30 day writing challenge that I like.

I did, however, find a 20 day challenge I may be able to mold into something that is witty, dirty, soul crushing and/or funny.  I also decided that because most of the topics will be pretty easy to handle, I will be writing these posts in addition to my usual posts.  Rather than give myself a break from having to think of things to write about I am going to double my work load.

Starting Monday, you’ll find a new blogroll in the left sidebar of my blog’s main page.  Each day I will add the post correlating with that days challenge.  I really hope you all enjoy my twenty day challenge posts.  I think it will be fun to write.

* I don’t normally post on the weekends because I write (a lot) on the weekends.  So I won’t be posting these on the weekend either.

13 Comments
by trjensen on October 27, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Life, Me
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Posted by trjensen on October 27, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/10/27/20-day-challenge/

My Eyeglasses Fetish

Reblogged from Smooth ReEntry:

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There is no getting around it, I've got a thing for glasses. Glasses on women are plain hot. I am hardly alone in my fetish, as many guys seem to appreciate the hot librarian look. Here are the top reasons why:

1) Glasses are SOPHISTICATED

Read more… 454 more words

Because as I have said before... my ego knows no bounds. And I have taught many men many things.
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by trjensen on October 27, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Me
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Posted by trjensen on October 27, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/10/27/1843/

Loving Me!

Today is a better day.  Even when I am having trouble processing everything that is going on in my life at the moment I know that it’ll get better.  People heal only as quickly as they allow themselves to do so and I am still working through everything that is going on in my life.

Sometimes even the best of us can let things get pretty messed up because we as human beings are imperfect and I think I needed a reminder that even I am not without my flaws.  Everything that has happened has happened because, directly or indirectly, I let it.  I can accept that because at the end of the day, I am the queen of my world and if my kingdom is out of sorts then it is up to me to rebuild, rule and repair what has gone awry.

To do so I have sort of locked my emotions away as so many of us do in times of extreme stress.  I may not like myself or my world right now but I am still giving myself all the love I can to move through to the next phase of my life.  I am recharging my batteries.

When things seem to be going poorly in your life sometimes you need to take a step back and focus on you, not to blame yourself but to refocus your positive energy and love to the person who can really use it the most.  Right now I don’t feel like I have anything I am willing to share with anyone else.  I need to give all that amazing love, positivity and energy to me.

It is okay to do that. Sometimes we have to be selfish and say that for now I need me.  Yesterday, I said I was drained but I think really I am just stocking up my reserves.  I have endured several days of misty eyed goodbyes and weepy farewells, thank yous and words of encouragement with a nary a twitch of recognition on my face.

I suck at goodbyes.  I will miss everyone but I am also sure I will see them all again.  Right now I am focusing on me and what I need to do for me and my world.  I will take as much time as I need to do that because I am worth it.

I am thankful that I have my blog as an outlet(and that I am sharing what I am going through.)  Sometimes I need to talk about what is happening and not to anyone in particular.  Sometimes writing it all out makes everything so much better.  Thank you for all of the love and positivity you all have been sending me.  It is really helping; I can truly feel it and it is beautiful.

Xoxo

The Narcissist

7 Comments
by trjensen on June 26, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Life, Me
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Posted by trjensen on June 26, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/06/26/loving-me/

Yet Another Depressing Update

Can I just say that I can’t remember the last time I was really this unhappy.  I mean I am really unhappy!  That alone is depressing enough to me.

I haven’t been writing much.  My financial situation is still pretty precarious and I have been too busy trying to find any job that I haven’t had time to think about anything positive.  A friend who owes me a lot of money said he’d have the bulk of this month’s rent for me then went and partied it all away.  I was counting on it and now a little over week before rent is due I am fucking stuck in the same position I was last month.

I am angry and fucking hurt and scared fucking shitless.  It seems I am incapable of being nice to anyone at the moment.  I am snapping at everyone.  I feel really on edge.  I truly feel like I am losing control of everything.  Hopefully things will get back on track soon.  I may be able to go and live with a friend in July but I have a lot to do before that can happen.

Hopefully I’ll have something positive to say soon.

Hugs

Teri

17 Comments
by trjensen on May 20, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Life, Me
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Posted by trjensen on May 20, 2012

http://narcissistsblog.com/2012/05/20/yet-another-depressing-update/

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