I am still not completely sold on the whole online dating thing.  I am warming up to the idea but it seems that I have had better luck on my own just meeting people.  (And what I mean by better luck is it seems far easier for me to connect and get comfortable.)  I have gone out with a few guys I have met online and never got past chatting or texting with a few others.  But there are still things that give me pause in every stage of online dating.  I decided to share some examples of what I think about and hope won’t happen every time I reply to a message.

1. “Do you work on a chicken farm because you are really good at raising cocks?” Really? Really! This was the way one gentleman tried to introduce himself to me via message.  After I stopped laughing I deleted the message and moved on.  I hate those types of messages.  They make me want to punch people.
2. “I thought I’d take a chance and see if maybe you would like to take some time and chat with me.   Maybe you aren’t a stuck bitch… maybe I am wrong.”  This was an excerpt from a message during one of my first attempts at online dating like two years ago.  I deleted that account right after I received the message.  If you hate women why are you looking for a date?  I am certain this man owns a van conversion filled with dead girls.  There was probably no room in it for my body anyway.
3. Him (Male/31/Straight/Married ): Any chance we could take some time and get to know each other? I love my wife very much and I am happy with our relationship.  I have no intention of leaving her.  I am looking for something non-committal but ongoing. Me: I have no interest in a married man.  Him: Even if my wife is not interested in having sex with me? Me: That is not what I am looking for.  It says on my profile I am looking for a relationship with someone who is s-i-n-g-l-e.  Him: Oh! So you are close minded? No asshole!  I just don’t want to help a married guy get his rocks off.  I blocked him after that.  He obviously couldn’t read.  I have never even indicated I would be open to a FWB situation on any dating site I use and I stress that I am not interested in anyone who is not completely unattached.
4. Recently I was chatting via text with a couple of guys I had met online.  We weren’t anywhere near meeting but I didn’t mind texting.  So one night I get a text from a number I do not recognize but he knew who I was and I assumed it was from the online dating site.  He had identified himself as Chris. (Fun fact: I know five guys named Chris and only two are programmed into my phone.)  I told him I wasn’t sure who he was and asked him to send me a pic.  A few seconds later I get a picture text.  I don’t know why this man I had never met thought I could identify him with a picture of his genitalia… but that was the pic he sent.  I know most men have the potential to be colossal pigs but why would he think I wanted to see his dick?  Some men really can’t think beyond their own erections.
5. I was chatting with a guy over the summer and he and I went on a couple of dates.  It was when I was going through my casual dating spree. He was ex-military and seemed a little obsessed with guns.  He had told me several times I needed one because it wasn’t safe for me to live alone without one.  I told him I had no interest in owning a gun because I would be uncomfortable having one.  I believe people should have the right to own guns but I just wouldn’t feel safer with one in the house.  He finally dropped it.  So one night he came over and we had already decided that that night would be the night.  After we had sex we sat in bed and chatted a little as I thought about how I was going to send him home shortly so I could go to sleep.  I asked him if he could still be called back to active duty. “For another year.  If I was going to get deployed I would be happy to go back,” he answered.  “Why? So you could shoot all those big guns?” I asked rather sarcastically.  He answered rather matter-of-factly, “No, so I can shoot people. “  “Okay psycho!” I blurted out rather surprised.  I looked at him for some indication he was kidding but there wasn’t one.  “Not innocent people.” He attempted to justify his answer.  “You don’t know if you are shooting innocent people.” I said.  He gave me a harsh look.  I realized he was not kidding.  I just had sex with a psychopath!  OMG! A psychopath!  I changed the subject and asked him how school was going.  He started to talk about pending transfer to a school in the southern part of the state.  When he finished I told him I was tired and he left.  He texted me a few times after that but I didn’t respond.

Online dating has been an adventure for sure.  I have met a few nice guys.  One, I am sure will be my friend for quite some time but just a friend.  These are some of the worst case scenarios.  I have had others.  They just seem to happen more frequently in the online dating world.  And… I had sex with a crazy man!