It really drives me crazy when someone tries to tell me what I think about myself.  What I think I do and don’t deserve. Or especially tell me that I am making decisions based to my poor self-esteem.  I know exactly who I am.  I know what I am worth and I am totally okay with who I am the decisions I make. I am okay with every single one of them.  I don’t choose incorrectly and I don’t make a mistakes.

I realize that everyone has an opinion about everybody else and what they are doing with their life.  I do it; you do it; everyone does it.  What I don’t do is try to offer advice under the assumption that what I think is fact and that I completely understand why you have a behavior or why you are making the decisions you are.  People make decisions because it is what is best for them.  It may not be the choice you would make but that doesn’t matter because it isn’t your journey.

I know myself very well.  I understand why I think the way I think and why I do what I do.  I know when I need to work on something and when I need to take a step back and reassess my approach to something.  If I need a second opinion or an outsider’s viewpoint I’ll ask.  I like asking people what they think because I respect constructive input.  Understanding what a situation looks like from the outside is often useful when you need some context or perspective. I appreciate that and often ask for that sort input here.  Those conversations often turn into constructive dialogs about relationships in general.

The key is to not presume you know more about a person than they do.  I am 100% comfortable with my decisions; where my life is at, who is in it and the road I am currently on.  I don’t feel like I am demeaning myself, under valuing myself or doing anything that has to do with what I feel I deserve.  I feel like I deserve what I WANT! Sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn’t.  I handle both as I see fit.

I have said a million times before, I won’t fucking settle.  If I don’t want someone then I don’t.  It isn’t because of financial, social or physical standards.  If I can’t see myself with someone then that isn’t going to change and I wouldn’t want it to.  I date who I am drawn to and that evolves.  It’s changed over the last three years and it will continue to, I am sure.  I don’t make choices based on stature.  I make choices based on who interests me.  What they do for a living or what their history is doesn’t change that.  I will let something play out until something happens that inhibits my interest or sense of well-being.

I fucking love myself.  That isn’t ego.  I have one and it might be overinflated but my self-esteem is exactly where it needs to be.  I believe that I deserve something that is good and makes me happy.  I am happy.  I am in a good place.  I make decisions in the pursuit of obtaining things that will make me happier and finding someone who can enhance that.  And if what I have tried doesn’t make sense to someone else I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.  I am trying to find what I want for me and shit doesn’t all go wrong because I am intentionally choosing anyone who can’t give it to me.  I am trying and if it doesn’t work out then I try something else.

But I really despise when someone tells me how I feel about myself or that I make the choices I do because I don’t understand my worth.  I understand me.  I make choices based on what I believe is BEST for me.  I have been growing and making decisions that I believe are making me better version of myself.  If you don’t see that or have a different take I don’t care. I can say confidently that I will get where I need to be because I take care of me first (and best). I wouldn’t have it any other way.