While I don’t entirely agree that I am violating my five date rule by sleeping with someone I am NOT dating, you all gave me some things to think about so I cancelled with “Friday Guy.” I feel like any booty call doesn’t apply but for now I’ll be patient. (For now…)
Posted by trjensen on December 22, 2011
Today I casually mentioned to a friend that I was entertaining company of the booty call variety Friday. She asked what happened to my five date rule and I told her I had no desire to date the guy. The five date rule doesn’t apply to a booty call. I do want a relationship but not with this guy. I want to have sex. The whole disagreement stems from her belief that if I have a fuck buddy the five date rule counts for nothing. My argument is that I don’t have a boyfriend, I am not cheating on anyone and “Friday Guy” is there for one reason and one reason only. She and I agreed to leave it to you dear readers. She is going to write her argument here and I will briefly respond. Then whatever you decide is what I will do. Friday Guy: Yay or Nay?
First let me start by introducing myself. I’m the kind of girl who will tell it like it is. If it needs to be said I will say it. I think that everyone deserve the absolute truth even when it’s not exactly what they want to hear. Which is why I cannot stand by and let “The Narcissist” continue to create her own “rules” to the five date rule. Being a concerned friend I believe her loopholes for the five date rule are ridiculous. I’m not an expert in these types of situations. I have known her for about six years, and can agree with her that she does need to be in a healthy relationship with a man. I believe that the five date rule is a perfect way for her to get to know a man before making the decision to have sex with them. Although she has no desire to have a relationship with “Friday Guy” is it really best if she gives him the pass on the five date rule? I understand that this man is only someone to have sex with. Not for anything more. Even so, she mentioned in a post for her blog The Five Date Rule that she needs to stop letting her “overactive sex drive” get the best of her. Isn’t she letting it get the best of her if she continues to have sexual intercourse with men she does not wish to have a relationship with? She wishes to be able to have some sort of self-control when it comes to having sex, but if she only applies the five date rule to certain men that would defeat the purpose.
I understand that if I am trying to find a relationship then I need to be more discerning about who I sleep with and when I sleep with a man. I also said I want to have sex. The thing with “Friday Guy” has been in place for a while. He is never going to be an option for me in a relationship, he is however a way to scratch an itch, thus alleviating some of the pressure I might feel when on a date with a man I might see more potential in, strengthening my willpower with a man I might want something more with. I wouldn’t continue to do so if I felt I could have something more significant with a “Five Date Rule Guy.” I don’t like sleeping with more than one man at a time. That hasn’t and isn’t going to change.
If you have the chicken pox do you scratch and risk leaving scars? No, because there is this thing called self-control. Not every itch has to be scratched.
So there you go dear readers. Can I have sex with “Friday Guy” and not be breaking my own rule? I am leaving it up to you.
Posted by trjensen on December 21, 2011
I have decided to impose a five date rule on myself from here on in. Why five dates? Because I really, really want to get laid and I need to stop letting my overactive sex drive get the best of me. Having sex too quickly generally plants me in the fuck buddy zone and I already have few of those lined up so I don’t need a new one. Any more than five dates and I could find a reason not to have sex with anyone. Five dates may be slightly longer than I can comfortably manage. ( I can do it.) I really need to give myself more time to make an informed decision. I also need to stop slutting it up with guys who are willing to just spend time with me with no promise that I would ever sleep with them.
That being said, I am getting to the point where I am horny as hell and I have a date with a very attractive European on Saturday night. (Pay no attention to the accent, Teri! He will still have an accent on the fifth date.) So I guess I need to work on strengthening my resolve. It has been a nearly a month since I’ve had sex and a few more weeks won’t kill me. (At least I hope not!)
It is odd that my life has changed so drastically. I went from not having sex for over a decade and really sort of losing interest in men to having to implement rules to restrain myself from just having sex. (I really want to have sex!) I want something more substantial than just sex. I want to try for something more, something more significant. I am going to try to make it five dates and my vagina will just have to deal with it.
Posted by trjensen on December 19, 2011