I hate February. It is the worst month of the year! I am not a big believer in luck or bad omens (Okay I kinda’ can be) but for some reason, every February seems to hold a shit storm of unneeded stress and pain for me. Anything that can and will go wrong for me goes wrong in fucking February. I have always kept my opinion of the month to myself until about nine years ago when a friend of mine complained that he hated the month of February and that it seemed out to get him. We shared stories about what February had done to us and those we love.
It doesn’t matter how positively January ends; February will find a way to fuck it up! I could win the lottery on January 31st and February would find a way to ruin it. I actually woke up February 1stt and tried to give myself a pep talk. I tried to convince myself that there was no way anything could go wrong. Everything was going great for me, right? Right! I was dating an amazing guy and for the first time in as long as I could remember dating was fun. I was actually excited about my new prospect. I was just in a really good place. Things were looking up!
But February had plans for me, big, evil, terrible plans. We are only eleven days into the month and I am sitting here with an ice pack on my knee, sad and on the verge of tears. Rather than rant for another five whole pages I will illustrate via timeline
Feb. 1 – The Narcissist lies in bed trying to make a plea bargain with February while silently question its power.
Feb. 2 – The Narcissist’s netbook (and lifeline) begins blue screening. It still kinda’ works as a word processor.
Feb. 3 – In the wee hours of the morning the Narcissist tries to fix her netbook to no avail. She debates reformatting it but decides to wait until later when she is more level headed. It is her son’s birthday and she is broke but he is going out with friends and she has a date.
Feb. 4 – The Narcissist returns home from PB’s and attempts to fix her computer again. Now the keyboard and mouse don’t work. She curses computer and sends message to her computer guru/friend.
Feb. 5 – Guru calls. After hours of conversation, computer is fixed. Narcissist’s current love interest (PB) has an accident on the mountain and spends most of the night in the ER.
Feb. 6 – The Narcissist spends much of the day worried about PB.
Feb. 7 – see Valentine’s Day
Feb. 8 – The Narcissist goes to visit family friends. She winds up babysitting and doesn’t do anything she planned to do while visiting.
Feb. 9 – The Narcissist wakes up at about 6 a.m. with a screaming, nausea inducing, blinding migraine. She can barely function. She is offered ibuprofen (I have a low tolerance for ibuprofen. I am not sure it is an allergy but after taking it I usually experience all the symptoms I do with a migraine.) Against her better judgment the Narcissist takes the ibuprofen out of sheer desperation. Her symptoms become worse and she winds up in bed at her friend’s house very ill.
Feb. 10 – The Narcissist wakes up feeling incredibly weak. Her head still hurts. She is then offered Excedrin and slowly the migraine lets up. She stays in bed almost all day. In the evening, when she is feeling slightly better, she texts PB. See Valentine’s Day.
Feb. 11 – The Narcissist is bummed out about getting the brush off but is feeling well enough to go home on the bus. She gathers her things and after missing two buses finally gets on her way. As she is finding a seat on the bus she hits her knee so hard that she actually sees stars. She manages to sit. The pain is excruciating but she tries to maintain her composure. After a few minutes her knee goes numb. (Yay! Shock.) When the Narcissist reaches her destination and has to put weight on her knee she becomes aware that she may have done some serious damage. She limps home, puts ice on her knee and bitches incessantly about her life on her blog.
And seriously!!!! It is only the fucking eleventh. February wants to kill me. I think I may need to just go to bed until the month is over. I hate February.
I have decided that I don’t like cold weather very much. To my friends in Canada and the areas surrounding the Great Lakes, I apologize for what will surely sound like silly whining. I often roll my eyes or snidely mumble to myself when I see one of my friends down south complaining about the chill of 50 degree weather. One would assume that I would have nothing better to do than sit and write when the temperature dips below zero but I find that I lack the enthusiasm to do much of anything when it is cold.
