“Do you want to come over to my place tonight?” my coworker asked me last Friday.  “My nephew still wants to meet you.  He has been asking for a while.”  I sit quietly mulling it over for a moment.  “Sure, I’ll come over,” I finally respond.  I went home to do a little research and to get ready to go to her place.  I logged on to Facebook, found my friend’s page and searched for her nephew. I wasn’t overly excited to meet the guy I had been told had been asking to meet me for months. It was nothing personal.  I just have a type and he was exactly the opposite of what I am typically attracted to. I decided meeting him wouldn’t hurt anything.

I have complained about not having social outlets and about not having opportunities to meet new people. At very least I was being afforded a chance to do both just days after I decided it was what I needed.  When we arrived at my friend’s house, she gave me the tour and poured me a glass of wine.  We then headed out to her husband’s workshop where he and her nephew were standing around the grill talking as a whole chicken sizzled on the fire.

I was introduced to her children, husband and nephew.  Her nephew shook my hand and introduced himself, holding my hand a bit longer than I was comfortable with.  I shrugged it off and began answering questions about myself, where I was from and why I was where I was.  As we chatted ‘the nephew” inched closer and closer to me until he was literally leaning up against me.  I casually stepped away several times and slowly began to realize he had had a lot to drink.

As the night progressed he seemed to become more aggressive.  He continued to lean against me where I stood, would sit where I sat making sure his leg was pressed against mine. I would move he followed.  He attempted to hold my hand, rub my back and hug me from behind, all without ever have asked me a question about myself.  We barely spoke.  I was pretty cranky. Finally, our hostess left us alone in the workshop while she went to the house for some beer. I sat down on a sawhorse and my admirer sat down next to me. I tried to scoot away so we weren’t touching. He slid his arm around my waist to keep me where I was.  I refused to make eye contact.  He moved his hand from my waist to my lower back then attempted to slide his hand down the back of my pants.

My back stiffened as I turned and looked him in the eye for the first time in over an hour and said, “Be a gentleman.” I scooted away from him not breaking eye contact.  “What?” he asked a little confused and annoyed. “Be a fucking gentleman,” I repeated a little louder and with more conviction.(Inserting a swear word always adds conviction ;P) “I am going home,” he slurred. “Why?” I asked. He looked at me rather confused.  “I don’t care if you go or stay but I just think you should exercise some manners,” I explained. He glared at me for a moment as our hostess came back into the shop. “I am going home,” he said as he clumsily stood up. “Bye,” we responded in chorus. And just like that he was gone.

I don’t mind being introduced to men, even if I am not attracted to them.  We could be friends, right?  Not if you try to molest me without so much as expressing any interest in me as a person.  I was told he wanted to meet me for a while.  I was flattered by that.  So why would you get wasted before meeting someone?  That is not an attractive trait.  I have talked about the pros and cons of liquid courage before and my little attempt at getting back on the horse (no matter how half-assed) didn’t change my opinion.

So what have we learned about meeting new people?

1. Be present
2. Don’t get sloppy drunk when meeting new people
3. Keep your faculties about you
4. Show some genuine interest
5. Don’t molest strangers

And…

5. Be a FUCKING gentleman!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all. Class dismissed.

xoxo

The Narcissist