Happy New Year to Me (and You)

200,000I finally hit 200,000 views!  The closer I got to that number the longer it seemed to take for me to actually hit the number.  It really wrapped the year up for me nicely.  It was a great gift from all of you.  I have really been working to get my audience back and slowly but surely I am finding a readership again.  I have had a crazy year.  I had my heart broken by the same man twice and moved to the middle of nowhere.

This year was also amazing.  I got a job writing a regular column for Kink E-Magazine. I started my book (kinda’). I ended the year getting nominated for a Blog of the Year award.  This year I really hope to get my book done.  I hope I can get it published and that I will get a few more regular writing jobs.

I am excited for everything then new year holds.  I feel like I am still trying to get back to where I was this time last year but I know I will get back there soon.  I hope to get back to Portland this year but I am preparing myself for the possibility that I won’t get there this year because I vow to make my writing a priority. I just can’t imagine finding a partner here and actually wanting to stay.

I wish nothing but the best for you too.  I love and appreciate you all sooo much. May we all have a blessed a prosperous New Year!

Blog of the Year Award 2012

The first part of the year I was getting peer blog awards hand over fist.  As I stopped posting as frequently it tapered off and they just stopped coming.  I have spent the last six months of the year trying to get my audience back so imagine my surprise when I was nominated for a blog award.

Blog of the Year Award 1 star jpeg

I have to admit I was totally excited to be recognized for the “Blog of the Year” award by fellow blogger seattlepolychick. I did a little dance then put off accepting it until I was driving myself crazy with guilt for my overwhelming laziness. I am so grateful for the recognition I receive from my peers.  I was also excited to be recognized by a woman who, like myself, is so open to new experiences and shares her experiences on her blog.

As with every award, there are rules, rules that I must follow because the creator of this award made it very clear that I was not to alter the terms of accepting it in any way, shape or form.  I kind of view that a s a challenge but I opted to be a good girl… just this one time.  Besides any award titled blog of the year is way too fancy to fuck with. The rules are as follows.

1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012′ Award

2 Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen — there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required — and ‘present’ them with their award.

3 Please include a link back to http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/our-awards/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/ and include these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)

4 Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them.

5 You can now also join the Facebook group — click ‘like’ on the page above ‘Blog of the Year 2012′ Award Facebook group and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience.

6 As a winner of the award — please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award — and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar.

The blogs I would like to nominate are

The Wandering Mind – I absolutely love Stephen’s poetry.  He is a a fantastic writer and sometimes I feel like we share the same brain. Maybe we were separated at birth.  I thoroughly enjoy his blog. If you haven’t read his blog you really should.

The Dribbling Pensioner – Harry’s blog is great.  I enjoy his work so much.  He is also an amazingly supportive reader and actively engages other bloggers.  He is a great and active member of the blogging community and his support is so appreciated.

The Chick Dick Mysteries – Nancy’s blog is fun and very interactive.  This professional writer’s blog covers a variety of topics.  She does a lot to support and engage her readers and fellow writers. She has been amazingly supportive of me, even when my blog is in the gutter. Her blog is definitely one you don’t want to miss.

B(itch) Log – Heather’s blog is funny and heartfelt.  Her views of the world are often dark but honest and open with a cutting sense of humor.  Her writing inspires me. Her work is relatable and intelligent. She is insanely funny and talented.  Be sure to check her out.

I am always inclined to nominate a bunch of bloggers for these awards and I always feel like I’ve left someone out.  I just wanted to honor some blogs I really enjoy for many different reasons. Each of these blogs are great examples of blogging and the diversity of this writing community. I hope you’ll all spend some time visiting these blogs.  I know you’ll enjoy them as much as I do.

Thank you again to seattlepolychick for this honor.  I am thrilled to be recognized and I hope the other winners enjoy the award as well.

I Am Internet Famous

My friend Trent made me an awesome meme!

It made my whole morning.  I am filled with an inflated sense of  fabulousness and unrealistic self importance.  Lately there has been all this talk about the awfulness that is women feeling good about themselves and I have men making my head swell.

Reader Appreciation Award

I was nominated for the Reader Appreciation Award by Tidbits and Dollops. Yippee!  I have the best readers and supporters in the world!  Seriously, I am a lucky girl and I really appreciate you all so much!  I am super stoked to get this award.  So excited I would use the word stoked in a sentence! I am really happy to accept this award and to have my blog recognized for those I really aim to please… my readers.

Tidbits and Dollops is a fairly new blog to me.  I really enjoy her blog because her sense of humor is very much like my own.  Her writing often puts a smile on my face.  Thank you lovely!  I truly appreciate the recognition.

The rules are (…so simple and I truly appreciate simple lately)

  1. List six nominations.
  2. Link the award image back to the one who presented it to you.

I choose you…

Pink Ninjabi

Dribbling Pensioner

Running Naked with Scissors

benzeknees

The Drunk Archer

wild geese that fly

Congratulations and thanks again to all my peeps!

¡Te amo mucho!

Confidence is Key

For the bulk of my twenties I didn’t date.  I was raising my son and didn’t want to complicate a difficult and stressful situation by dating.  I was also not very confident about myself.  Actually it is probably a fairer statement to say I wasn’t very conscious of myself.  When my son turned eighteen that all changed.  I focused more on me.  I worked on the things I didn’t like.  I became comfortable in my own skin and I gained what some might call an overabundance of confidence.  People started to identify me as an ego maniac and although most were doing so lovingly, there was some validity to that assessment.

I am awesome.  I am attractive.  I think people who I spend time with are lucky to have me in their life.  I date hot men, some much younger than I am and I have a hard time not showing off pictures to anyone who will look. I also have no problem admitting any of this publicly.  I am who I am; take it or leave it.

Although my unashamed pronouncement of love for myself certainly bothers some people the most obvious reaction is the desired one.  I get a lot of attention.  I get a lot of attention because I am confident and confidence is something people are drawn to.  I make no apologies for who I am.  I am the first person to admit I am not perfect.  I am quick to make a joke at my own expense and share a story if I do something embarrassing/ stupid /crazy.

Even with all my flaws and the continued process of growing and learning I am always right where I need to be.  I don’t have regrets.  I don’t view any decisions as mistakes.  Everything I experience is simply an opportunity to grow and learn.  I never feel less amazing even when I stumble.  I think everything I do makes me more amazing.

I love myself.  People love me because I love myself.  I won’t ever change that.  People aren’t really wrong when they say I am narcissistic.  I am okay with that because if I don’t love me no one else is going to either. 

I Am Worthy

I was recently nominated for the TMI Award by Brooke at xoxoluvbb.  Sometimes I get awards I wonder if I truly deserve the honor.  I am not being modest, I just question the idea that my writing is inspiring or that my blog content is in fact awesome.  Of course being honored with these awards makes me all happy inside because I THINK my blog is awesome and I hope that my writing is inspiring.  But my blog has TMI in abundance.

From reading my blog one could safely assume I don’t have much of a filter which is true but my ultimate aim is to share my experiences in a way that is humorous, insightful and hopefully beneficial to my readers.  I hope that through my experience, knowledge and understanding can be gained and that my trial and error approach to life can help others as much as it helps me.

I live my life with no regrets.  I, as my friend Cakes McCain once said, “own my shit.”  I believe that by accepting the outcome of your experiences and finding ways to learn from every opportunity we can live a life without regret.  I don’t see the need in regretting any choice you can use to positively develop as person.  This line of thinking allows me the bravery to discuss my life without fear of judgment or persecution.  I love my world, my life and I don’t have regrets.

The TMI Award is an acknowledgement of those who do the same.  The writers brave enough to share even the difficult parts of their lives.  They share their experiences in the hope that others might take something of value away from their learning experiences.  I am proud to be in their company and graciously accept the TMI Award.

Here are the rules

Thank the person who presented you with the award.

Brooke at xoxoluvbb has a fantastic and wildly funny blog about the ups and downs of dating.  She always approaches the topic with optimism and humor.  Her writing is smart, funny and completely relatable. If you haven’t discovered her blog yet you should swing by and say hello.

Link back to the blogger who presented the award to you.

Share an awkward, embarrassing and intimate story in 250 words or less.

The last time I went to Disney World, I was travelling with a female friend, my son and one of his friends.  As we all piled off the bus at Hollywood Studios, my friend pointed out a t-shirt and I looked behind me to read it.  As I turned back around my glasses flew off my face followed by a loud ding.  My head instantly hurt.  It took me a moment to realize that I had walked face first into a pole in front of about two thousand other people exiting the Disney buses.  They pointed and laughed and whispered.  The bastards!  My son turned around at the sound, smirked at me and asked, “Mom, did you just walk into that pole?”  My friend, who was doubled of laughing, managed to squeak out a yes.  She tried to ask if I was okay as felt the throbbing spot on my forehead.  Then I quickly yelled to my son, “Quick, take pictures of me before you can see the knot.”  He rolled his eye and said, “She’s fine.”  *I am actually fairly positive I had a concussion.  I was nauseous for the rest of the day, my equilibrium was off and I was having trouble focusing. But I stayed at the park all day because there was no way I was spending that kind of money to sit in the first aid building or my hotel room. ** I also theorized that the whole incident occurred due to the fact that I had said the “c” word the day before at the Magic Kingdom and Mickey doesn’t allow that kind of language in “the happiest place on earth.”

Copy and paste the blog award on your blog.

Present the TMI Blog Award to 5 – 10 deserving blogs.

Let them know they have been chosen by leaving a comment at their blog.

And the award goes to…

Life in the Dash Lane

Halfway Between the Gutters and the Stars

Xanax or Running Shoes

a2realhousewife

bornoutofbourbon

Thank you so much for the acknowledgement and congratulations to the winners!

 

 

Casual Sex

So I had my second one night stand recently (and I am hoping the potential for another hook-up will not be far off.)  But for now, as of this very moment, it is still a one night stand.  And of course I have had way too much time to think about it now.  I really don’t know how I feel about it.  I don’t typically do things like that.  It is totally out of character for me.  I have trust issues and I can’t just have sex with someone based solely on physical attraction. 

Unless… I am pretty drunk and a very hot much younger man asks if he can see my place.  Then apparently I have no issue.  The sex was amazing.  I was surprised given his age but he was very good.  He was also super attentive and I definitely needed that.  I have spent too much time thinking about people hurting me and not enough time trying anything to get past it.  It definitely helped with that.

My issue is that now aside from trying to find time to get together again before he is deployed to Afghanistan; I am not sure how I feel about how easy it was for me to just let him into my house and into my bed.  I feel nothing above the waist for the guy and that is a little weird to me too.  I have been off the charts horny and hadn’t had sex in months.  And in that respect my needs were met. 

I am worried that I could really do this.  I can have sex with no attachment and I don’t want to be that girl.  It was easy to just think about the physical aspect of pleasure with him because I do not consider him relationship material.  He was very attractive and attracted to me which is fantastic for my ego.  We were very sexually compatible but he is too young and leaving.  But the ease in which I fell into bed with him was alarming, even to me.  I see the potential of me being my own worst enemy if this behavior continues.

I just need to modify my behavior.  I need my Catholic sense of guilt back.  If I have the opportunity I will absolutely sleep with this man again but I won’t do it with anyone else.  I just can’t.  I don’t like the way I feel about it (and I love the way I feel about it.) I just can’t keep doing it just because I let my libido get the best of me.

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