Received at 3am, Saturday, June 16th, 2012
Your blog makes me puke. Not EVERYONE is jealous of you. Other females like me seriously appreciate the psycho narcissists like you out there, because men always learn one way or another that you’re not worth it… and women like me get them when you couldn’t. Take down this blog & go into therapy already. But, from the sounds of it, you’d fuck that up too. The hard TRUTH is that the only special people in this world are the ones who are NOT narcissists.
My blog gets a fair share of emails and comments good and bad. As my blog audience has increased, it seems like the amount of negative correspondence has increased. I typically just block the sender and be done with it. Every once in a while I get one like this that just seems so angry and out of context that I have to do a little more investigating. I thought perhaps I knew this woman but after about five minutes of research I realized I didn’t know her and that she lives clear across the country.
This one in particular seemed very… angry. My best guess is that this person didn’t spend much time reading my blog (if any at all.) The idea that anyone would identify me as a real narcissist seems so off base to me that I just couldn’t process where her anger was coming from or why she felt that sending a passive aggressive observation such as this one was in any way warranted or productive.
I was truly surprised at the tone of this message. I was curious about what might prompt someone to send something so hateful to someone she had never met and who’s work she clearly didn’t read or at very least, didn’t interpret the way it is intended. Maybe my work is coming across as shallow and self-centered in a way that isn’t quite as tongue-in-cheek as I thought…
All-in all, I am not bothered by the judgement of readers who misinterpret my writing. You can’t please everyone but clearly I am doing a damn good job of pissing some people off. The truth is this kind of fan mail really makes those of you who find some value in what I do and see the good in my work even more precious to me. I appreciate the support of my amazing followers, fellow writers and supporters so much. So thank you for your continued support of my blog and my writing! I love each and every one of you.
Posted by trjensen on June 16, 2012
I was just nominated for another blog award and I can feel you all rolling your eyes. Don’t be mean! Having such amazing, strong writer friends has been so great. I am glad that my blog is liked and has been received so well. Writing is a huge part of who I am and since I started dedicating more time on improving myself this blog has been really important. It has allowed me to focus and think about my life from a different prospective. It has shaped who I am and how I view myself in some amazing ways.
I love that my fellow writers like Jen at Jenchay appreciate all the work I put into sharing my experiences and lessons through my writing and this blog. I am so proud to be repeatedly recognized by my peers, writers, who are equally if not more deserving of these awards than I am. I have so much to read each day it really takes a chunk out of my day but I wouldn’t change that for anything. I love reading so many of your blogs and I feel like I am better for having done so. Much love!
The Rules for the ABC Award are a little different but fun! They are as follows:
- Thank the person who nominated you
- There is no limit to how many fellow bloggers you can nominate so go crazy
- Share some things about you but alphabetically just a word or two about you starting with each letter of the alphabet.
- Post the the award on your own blog.
I have to thank Jen again for being so kind to my blog. I can’t begin to articulate how I feel right now. I feel humbled, excited and proud all at the same time. You are awesome and I am really happy you enjoy my blog.
I can nominate as many blogs as I want so I am just going to start writing and see how many I end up with. I’d like to nominate two women who lovingly refer to as my blog mother and my moral compass (and I hope that does offend anyone,) Lorna at Lorna’s Voice and Janice at Aurora Morealist have this way of encouraging me to really think about what I am feeling and why I am feeling that way. Besides being insanely talented writers I always look for their comments when I can’t seem to guide myself in the right direction. If you haven’t checked out The Wandering Mind you should. Stephen offers a fresh male perspective in dating and his poetry is really good. He also serves as my sounding board when I am having “boy troubles” and I thank him for that.
If I could meet any of the writers from the many blogs I love (and I would like to meet a lot of you) I think I would want to start with Jen at Sips of Jen and Tonic, MC at MysteryCoach, Cakes Mcain at Pasta for One and Lauren at Viciously Sweet. In addition to reminding me a lot of my girlfriends here in Portland I find their writing so accessible and relatable that I just know we’d hit it off. They are funny and charming with a pretty sharp edge and I love their blogs. Whenever I need to help in the dating department I have a set group of blogs I visit. These women and their adventures help chart a course for me when I hit rough patch or I am feeling uncertain about a situation. These blogs remind me that I am not alone and that there are plenty of amazing women out there in search of a real partner. Silly G at Three Months to Forty, Cadence at Search 4 A Soul Mate and Cat at Cafe Girl Chronicles are just what the doctor ordered. And last but certainly not least I’d like to nominate LFR at La Femme Roar for introducing me to so many amazing blogs and for writing some truly hilarious posts. If I ever need a smile I know right where to go!
||Xylophone (ID effing K)
Well that’s all folks. I feel like I miss people I should recognize everytime I do one of these. :/ Congrats to all the nominees and thanks for all the support. I love you for loving me. T
Posted by trjensen on January 30, 2012
“Why are you still single?” Many of the guys I entertain the idea of dating ask me that. My answer is always the same. “I don’t know.” Maybe I waited too long to have what would really be a starter relationship. Maybe I am too emotionally damaged. Maybe I just try too hard adding additional pressure to a situation without knowing I am doing it.
Last year I started talking to a guy I went to high school with and he asked me that question as we started flirting during a Facebook chat session. “I really don’t get it. You are a cool chick. Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I assured I didn’t really get why it seemed impossible for me to lock someone down. We continued chatting over the course of the next few days until on the fourth day he said, “I know why you aren’t in a relationship.” I asked him why he thought that was and he answered simply, “You don’t need anyone.” I got a little pissed off at first. “But I want someone! Why isn’t that enough?”
A few days later I was talking to a friend about that conversation and how annoyed I was with that summation of my situation. “Men need to feel needed,” she said, “and it took me a long time to figure out how to show a man that he was needed.” I told her I had no idea how to pretend that I had spent the bulk of my life having only myself to rely on. I was not comfortable leaning on someone else. I trust me. That is the one thing life had taught me was that I could really just count on myself to do what needed to be done and I didn’t know how to “pretend” that wasn’t the way it was. I said, “I want a partner but I can take care of myself.”
She explained that if a man didn’t feel needed he didn’t see his value in a relationship. I really didn’t know what to do at that point. Quite frankly I thought might actually be shit out of luck. I spent a lot of time thinking about why I felt so strongly about what I wanted in partner. What was missing from my life that I really wanted now? Then I realized that making a man feel needed was more about emphasizing the things I wanted in partner so that he would feel valued and needed.
I am still not very good at it. I should prabably work on that, huh?
Posted by trjensen on January 16, 2012