I hate video chatting. I have never had an issue with video chatting with female friends. Guys on the other hand… I hate it so much. I’ve stayed in touch with Pretty Boy. We were friends before we dated and we have mutual friends so in some capacity we’ll always be forced to interact a little. I would prefer those interactions aren’t awkward.
Our whole attempt at dating didn’t work and that feeling was mutual. We are both happy with where we stand. (I say this all, knowing full well he would still like to have sex with me in a casual capacity and he knows I won’t do it so he brings it up every time we talk. It is this little game we play.) We speak once every two months or so. Since my move, he’s moved to the east coast and occasionally we check in with each other.
Since my birthday, we’ve talked every day. He’s lonely and not having anyone I am interested in actively pursuing me has made his attention all that more appealing. We aren’t going to see each other but having a gorgeous 27 year old man tell me how desirable and beautiful I am makes me happy.
He constantly trying to get me to Skype with him and more recently to download Tango (An app that allows you to video chat from your phone) so we can video chat. What he actually wants is to watch me get flustered when he shameless flirts with me. He thinks it is cute and watching me get embarrassed amuses him.
Side Note: PB is insanely hot. He is as my son once observed, “The hottest guy I’ve ever dated.” I would be lying if I said I didn’t still think about him naked.
I have always made up some excuse why I wasn’t available to video chat with him. I just don’t want to do it. I don’t want him to think we are going to have some mutual masturbation session or whatever else might be going on in his head. I would find that frustrating. I find phone sex frustrating. I masturbate alone. I have sex with a partner. Any alternative is annoying to me.
That is just my anxiety talking. I wouldn’t like it and don’t want to do it but the real reason I avoid it is because I feel like I look like shit on camera (I love pictures. I photograph well; video is a whole other animal.)
So anyway… Yesterday, after days of pestering me to do it, I downloaded Tango. Within minutes my phone was ringing and there was PB lying on his bed, head propped up on his arm, smiling at me all seductively. He looked adorable and yummy. I, on the other hand, was fresh off a run, no make-up, wearing workout clothes, looked about as great as I felt which was the polar opposite of adorable and yummy.
While I was asking him how work was and he was responding suggestively (“Long and hard.”), I just stared at the little video of me on the lower left hand side of the screen, mortified by my own reflection. After a minute or two I thought I was going to drive myself crazy just staring at that image. Then the app froze up and I hung up the phone. I text him and told him to just call me.
“But you’re so sexy.” He replied.
“And you are obviously drunk.” I typed just before my phone started ringing.
I know I am attractive and I love looking at myself but for some reason video chat just isn’t my medium. The angles are all unflattering and I am just too neurotic to ignore it. So I hate video chatting. Video doesn’t do me justice. I am just better in person.
Although I was amused by the whole thing I cringed each time I had to expand a picture to delete it. “Good karma, Teri.” I reminded myself. Every minute or so he’d text me and ask if I’d done it. I just ignored him until I was finished. I was sufficiently grossed out by the whole experience but it sure put some things in perspective. I may have been feeling bad but at least I didn’t post a ton of pictures of naked women on my Facebook page. At least I didn’t have to rely on the kindness of my former partner to take them down because she is the only person who would do it.
