One day a man overheard his wife and young daughter in the shower. “Mommy when I get older I want to have long boobs just like you,” the girl said to her mother. The girl father chuckled at his daughter’s attempt to compliment her mother. A short time later his wife prepared for her day in their bedroom and he parroted his daughter’s amusing compliment to his wife. A terrible fight ensued, resulting in the woman suggesting her husband take off for a while until she was less upset about his lack of sensitivity.
The man was perplexed by his wife’s anger. He left the house and drove to a friend’s work place to tell him the story and hopefully get some insight into what had upset his wife. He retold the story and they both had a good long laugh about what his daughter had said. His friend finished his work day occasionally chuckling to himself about what that little girl had said to her mother.
When the man finished his shift at the convenience store where he worked, he headed home to his girlfriend’s house to find her and I sitting on the back porch talking about the effects of aging and gravity on the female body. How ironic he thought, that there seemed to be a theme to his day. He retold us the story. My friend and I were filled with a mix of amusement, horror and sympathy for the woman who received such an innocent yet terrible compliment.
I laughed about it because as a writer that story was something I knew I would find some application for in my writing (and I have a pretty mean sense of humor.) I still laugh when I think about it or tell friend about the “long boobs.” I am also horrified by the prospect of having long boobs. It is the inevitable future of any large chested woman and a fate I have witnessed first-hand in my DD-cup turned grapefruit in nylon stockings grandmother. I, of course, would murder someone to pay for a boob job before I let that happen.
Our storyteller asked us if what his friend did, teasing his wife, was really so terrible to which received a resounding ‘yes” from both of us. I explained to him that most women are pretty sensitive about the effects of aging on their bodies and though they are forced to accept it on some level it is not something we want noticed and pointed out unless we broach the subject first. It would be akin to having an open discussion about a man’s physical short comings. I refer you now to my friend Le Clown’s post about male endowment.
Is what that little girl said to her mother funny? Fuck yes! It is hilarious and I am chuckling as I think about it now. Should that husband have teased his wife about it? Fuck no! If he’d of teased me about it I would have been throwing shit.
Here is some friendly advice for my male friends in relationships. It is fine that you heard something in private that was humorous, even at your partner’s expense. It is even okay that you repeated it to friend. (Okay it probably isn’t but I am damn happy this guy did.) But it is never okay to embarrass your partner. No one wants to feel like their partner finds humor in one of a female’s biggest insecurities. It was funny but you need to keep that shit to yourself.
But it is pretty fucking funny. Poor long boobed lady. Now everyone knows it.
Le Clown
/ February 27, 2013Teri,
There’s a huge difference between the innocence of a child, and an adult’s mocking, may it be just the “intent” portion of such humour, and the impact it might have, which personally, I think we should try and be aware of… Thanks for the link-up, Teri, and for your insightful comments on the penis post.
Eric
trjensen
/ February 27, 2013I absolutely agree. If someone were to say something like that to me I would have been mortified to know anyone, even my partner had heard it.
silentlyheardonce
/ February 27, 2013Okay I need a happy pill. The rest of my day is shot. I’ll just toss these deflated balloons over my shoulder and go lay down.
trjensen
/ February 27, 2013Smile beautiful! Hopefully we do/would have more campassionate partners.
silentlyheardonce
/ February 27, 2013I’m looking for one. I hope he has the $ to get me new boobs and a few nip, tucks and pulls here and there. SMH
trjensen
/ February 28, 2013It would be nice huh?
silentlyheardonce
/ February 28, 2013You think?
Tiffany N. York
/ February 27, 2013I am free to discuss my “fat ass” all I want, but the second a man mentions it? He is dead to me.
trjensen
/ February 28, 2013Exactly!
Ribbons Undone
/ February 28, 2013I remember telling my mom once that her boobs looked like “baseballs in tube socks”. She was horrified. I can still remember the look on her face. I got spanked for being rude and sent to my room. At the time, I couldn’t understand why, but now I do. Oh, I really do. Since I’m built like my mom, I now have the 30 longs especially since I’ve had a baby and breastfed. I’ve always been self conscious of the way my breasts looked. They’ve never been what you’d call “perky”. If any man I was seeing said something about my breasts and the comment was even vaguely derogatory I would fly off my broom handle and he would probably lose a limb.
trjensen
/ February 28, 2013It is hard to hear from your child but if my partner said it I would lose my mind. It start a little war on my part of snarky little backhanded compliments too.
Ribbons Undone
/ February 28, 2013Yes. The Passive-Aggressive War would probably kick off right then for me too.
smoothreentry
/ February 28, 2013Actually, smaller cup sizes seem to age gracefully. Maybe this is poetic justice, evening the score for all the years they felt inferior next to their more well endowed counterparts?
trjensen
/ February 28, 2013They totally do. I have a couple of friends in their mid fifties with small breasts who can wear strapless and halter tops with no bra and their boobs look great. My breats have held up pretty well. I know time isn’t on my side but I have taken preventative measures since I was younger. I never go bra-less unless I am sleeping. I work my chest as much as I can stand it. I come from a family of mostly large chested women and I have seen the effects of aging. I do everything naturally but when it isn’t working then I am going to do something else.
hawleywood40
/ February 28, 2013This is one of the reason I got over my lifelong wish that my boobs had been bigger when I hit my 40s : ).
trjensen
/ February 28, 2013True that! I am envious of my smaller chested friends ability to go sans bra.
renxkyoko
/ February 28, 2013One of the reasons I’m now okay with my * cough* not well- endowed chest. Ahahah. Damn.
bossymoksie
/ March 7, 2013Aww. Men really are clueless sometimes.
trjensen
/ March 7, 2013True that!