Dear [Fuck Buddy/Friend/Pretend Partner],
I really hoped that this situation we’ve found ourselves in was going to turn out differently. I wanted so badly for you to feel for me, what I felt for you. I wanted it so badly that I was willing to sacrifice any chance that I could ever feel fulfilled in our pseudo relationship. I had agreed to the terms of an arrangement that was not what I wanted and was never going to give me what I needed. That was my fault and I acknowledge it.
I apologize for texting you screaming and crying about how you hurt me. I see now that I stayed in our situation longer than could rationally be considered optimistic. I should have been open about what I was feeling and I should have been strong enough to walk out when I knew we didn’t want the same thing. I recognize that it was my fault that I am hurt. I didn’t do a good job of protecting my heart or preserving what was important to me.
It wasn’t your job to do what was best for me. Even in a relationship, I know that I have to be able to take care of my emotional self. This doesn’t mean that you are faultless. You did take advantage of how I felt and that was wrong. You should have been a better friend to me. We are friends, right? That’s what you said. “We’re friends.” As my friend, someone who cares about me, you shouldn’t have taken advantage of my feelings. That makes you a pretty shitty friend.
What a mess this whole thing turned out to be but I have learned some valuable lessons. I have learned that I need to care more about myself and what I need. I need to stop settling for less than that. I need to do a better job of taking care of emotional self and not stay in situations that will hurt me. I just have to start loving and respecting myself more because if I don’t know how to do that then no one else will be able to figure it out either. And I clearly need to choose my friends more wisely.
I really should be thanking you. You have helped me to realize that we never stop growing and learning. This experience has presented me with an opportunity to become a stronger, more evolved me. I can apply the knowledge I have gained from this experience into every aspect in my life and had it not been for the trials I experienced with you I wouldn’t have this better understanding of myself.
I hope that you benefitted from this experience as well. I hope you’ll use it to grow as an individual and that you can learn to appreciate that even the most difficult of situations are really just lessons presented so that we might become better versions of ourselves.
[Fuck Buddy/Friend/Pretend Partner]
p.s. I am really sorry about posting your name and number (and that thing about the horse) in the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist. :/