Dear [Fuck Buddy/Friend/Pretend Partner],
I really hoped that this situation we’ve found ourselves in was going to turn out differently. I wanted so badly for you to feel for me, what I felt for you. I wanted it so badly that I was willing to sacrifice any chance that I could ever feel fulfilled in our pseudo relationship. I had agreed to the terms of an arrangement that was not what I wanted and was never going to give me what I needed. That was my fault and I acknowledge it.
I apologize for texting you screaming and crying about how you hurt me. I see now that I stayed in our situation longer than could rationally be considered optimistic. I should have been open about what I was feeling and I should have been strong enough to walk out when I knew we didn’t want the same thing. I recognize that it was my fault that I am hurt. I didn’t do a good job of protecting my heart or preserving what was important to me.
It wasn’t your job to do what was best for me. Even in a relationship, I know that I have to be able to take care of my emotional self. This doesn’t mean that you are faultless. You did take advantage of how I felt and that was wrong. You should have been a better friend to me. We are friends, right? That’s what you said. “We’re friends.” As my friend, someone who cares about me, you shouldn’t have taken advantage of my feelings. That makes you a pretty shitty friend.
What a mess this whole thing turned out to be but I have learned some valuable lessons. I have learned that I need to care more about myself and what I need. I need to stop settling for less than that. I need to do a better job of taking care of emotional self and not stay in situations that will hurt me. I just have to start loving and respecting myself more because if I don’t know how to do that then no one else will be able to figure it out either. And I clearly need to choose my friends more wisely.
I really should be thanking you. You have helped me to realize that we never stop growing and learning. This experience has presented me with an opportunity to become a stronger, more evolved me. I can apply the knowledge I have gained from this experience into every aspect in my life and had it not been for the trials I experienced with you I wouldn’t have this better understanding of myself.
I hope that you benefitted from this experience as well. I hope you’ll use it to grow as an individual and that you can learn to appreciate that even the most difficult of situations are really just lessons presented so that we might become better versions of ourselves.
Sincerely,
[Fuck Buddy/Friend/Pretend Partner]
p.s. I am really sorry about posting your name and number (and that thing about the horse) in the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist. :/
Redneckprincess
/ October 14, 2012oh darling…hugs to you. Sometimes shit just sucks…but this sure made me chuckle…
“p.s. I am really sorry about posting your name and number (and that thing about the horse) in the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist. :/”
I am thinking about ya…xoxo
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012Thanks doll. I really meant it to be a boilerplate letter that anyone in that kind of situation could use. It is direct and to the point and would elimnate the need to put anymore emotional energy into someone who doesn’t even want you to.
But I do all my own stunts so thanks for the hug.
seattlepolychick
/ October 14, 2012Hmm.. I need to personalize and print out this letter.
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012That is really why I wrote it. LOL!
benzeknees
/ October 15, 2012Love the P.S.!
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012I’ll have to share the story behind the p.s. Had Craigslist been around when I was a teenager, when I used my powers for evil instead of good, I may have entertained the idea of doing something like that.
pi314chron
/ October 15, 2012Priceless! Especially the Craigslist zinger at the end! Hugs, Randa
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012Thanks. I am happy its been recieved so well. Ahh, if craigslist had exsisted when I was young and had no control over what my beautiful brain was capable of… Alas, I am not that big of an asshole anymore.
blogryley
/ October 15, 2012lol…Thank You for taking the time to stop by my blog i am enjoying yours it is amazing! thank you for all your hard work
- Ryley
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012Thank you! That is nice. I hope you come back to visit again soon.
gilbertloretta
/ October 15, 2012Were you in my head when you wrote this? PERFECT!
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012It never fails to astonish me that I am so relatable. I am happy that I am but it always suprises me.
gilbertloretta
/ October 15, 2012Reblogged this on rettasrants and commented:
SHE was in my head… read what she said!!
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012Thank you for sharing.
A Dog With Fleas
/ October 15, 2012This post is priceless. As actually all of your posts are. But your most recent posts and relationships, and your most recent one in particular, has really struck a chord with me. It was because of them, I was able to realize I was stuck in a dead-end relationship that was just hurting me.
Have always been a fan of your blog and writing, but your most recent work in particular has been fabulous. (Not that any of the others were less then fabulous either!!)
Thanks!!
trjensen
/ October 15, 2012I am glad you are enjoying it.
thisfiercefemme
/ October 15, 2012This letter summarizes so many of my past romantic encounters. Thanks for putting it into words! I guess all we can do is try to grow from these experiences/life lessons! PS Thanks for favoriting my post!
trjensen
/ October 16, 2012I think the letter should be a standard response in situations where you’ve already wasted to much emotional energy. Print it; sign it; send it.
bossymoksie
/ October 16, 2012“We are friends, right? That’s what you said. “We’re friends.” As my friend, someone who cares about me, you shouldn’t have taken advantage of my feelings. That makes you a pretty shitty friend.”
This is great. I hate when a guy acts like he cares and is my friend when he’s really trying to see what he can get. It’s such bullshit. You’re not my friend, you just want to get in my pants or date. Especially when they pretend to be your friend and then stop when they realize they aren’t gonna get anywhere!!!
trjensen
/ October 16, 2012Right! Women do it too but don’t be so fucking transparent.
daterofboys
/ October 16, 2012I need to bookmark this and read it when I start getting lonely about my ex…
trjensen
/ October 16, 2012Then I think you should do it. Anything that helps.
Shonnie
/ October 16, 2012That last line made me crack up. Sorry about all the rest. Praying blessings on you. May you find that person who appreciates YOU and cherishes YOU. Because you deserve it.
trjensen
/ October 16, 2012Thanks love! It is really meant to be a template for anyone in an unhealthy relationship.
Shonnie
/ October 17, 2012trjensen
/ October 17, 2012I am happy you liked it and thank you for the support!
Ani
/ April 7, 2013Thanks for posting that Awesome letter. For about 4 months, I had been involved in a quasi-relationship with a sneaky Narcissist.. Since I’ve made the decision to forgive him & block him from contacting me via cell & email, I feel so much better… Your letter has added another soothing balm of remembrance to my healing wounds… Thanks again!
trjensen
/ April 8, 2013I am glad if it helped at all.