The “friend zone,” the wasteland of unfulfilled, unrequited feelings and desire, the most dreaded place in the entire spectrum of relationships, is probably the worst place you can put a man that just wants a chance with you. The “friend zone’ is as dreaded to men as a woman being told “I love you but I am not in love with you.” In short, both scenarios are never going to be what you want. How much time you waste pining over someone who doesn’t want to be with you is your decision.
Women often do value the men whose desire for a relationship, they don’t reciprocate. Sure she’ll let you take then to dinner. She’ll sit with you for hours discussing books, movies and your shared interests, of which I am certain you’ll have quite a few. She’ll thank you for the myriad of compliments you give her. She’ll tell you things like she wishes she could find a man who treated her as well as you do. If you possess every trait she desire in a mate then why the hell aren’t you dating?
The truth is simple, although many women won’t own up to it… you are in the friend zone because that woman who says you are everything she wants in a man has absolutely no desire to be intimate with you. She’ll play coy or plead ignorance when it comes to acknowledging your feelings for her. If you press the issue, she’ll tell you she values your friendship too much to jeopardize it, by being intimate.
Women don’t want to be in relationships with anyone she doesn’t want to be intimate with. She has already decided she doesn’t want to have sex with you and no amount of praise, support or money spent is going to change that. She said she wants someone “like” you, meaning she wants someone she is attracted to and wants a relationship with, who tries as hard as the guy who doesn’t stand a chance.
If she can’t picture or doesn’t want to picture being intimate with you, the chances that you can do anything to change her mind are about 1 in a million. It doesn’t matter what you buy her or how much you have in common; she doesn’t want to be with you. You are her filler boyfriend. But honestly, you shouldn’t be pissed at her. You should be kicking yourself in the ass for spending too much time on someone who, by her own admission, wants someone who treats her as well as you do, that isn’t you.
So to put in terms that most men understand, if a girl you have told you don’t want a relationship with, keeps sleeping with you, she really has no right to get angry because she twisted up what was happening in her head. You told her how you felt and she still slept with you, right? With women, it isn’t sex; the lack of desire is actually at the root of the issue. If a woman tells you, that you are just her friend and you still take her out, spend quality time with her and spend money on her, she is probably going to let you. Sex without fear of emotional stress is nice. Having man who wants to do things with us and shower us with compliments just because he “enjoys our company” is very nice too. You are her filler boyfriend.
If a woman tells you you are friends or that she wishes she can find someone like you, that means she doesn’t feel the same way you do. That’ll change just about the same time as your best friend proposes to his booty call.
Do things for yourself. If spending time with someone is enough for you then do it but be honest with yourself about what is happening. If you have been put in the friend zone by someone you really care about and you don’t want to be disappointed, take yourself out of the her friend zone. Find some who wants you not some like you.