I talk a lot about casual sex because casual sex is amazing. I truly believe casual sex can be a beneficial part of feeling empowered. Controlling your emotions in intimate situations can be of great benefit to you in many aspects of your life. Over the course of my series on casual sex I have had women express to me that casual sex left them feeling empty, used or ashamed.
First let make it clear, I don’t have sex with anyone I don’t feel some sort of connection with. If I don’t feel something drawing me to a partner then I am not going to have sex with them. It is just that simple. I have only been in a casual sex situation twice in the past few years when I felt like I didn’t connect with my partner at all. That made feel a little “bleh” about the experience and the guy.
Do you want to know why this happened? Why I suspect women feel empty or ashamed after casual sex? The reason I felt uncertain and a little uneasy about the entire experience was because I wasn’t sure I wanted to sleep with those men in the first place.
If you aren’t sure that you want to have sex with someone then don’t have sex with them. I don’t care if you went home with the guy and now you are feeling a little more uncertain; if you aren’t comfortable or positive then tell the dude you don’t want to have sex. Your vagina is attached to you. You need to be picky about who you are going to let stick their tongues, fingers, fists and or dicks inside your pussy. She is your friend and she deserves the best you can provide her.
When you aren’t certain you want to be intimate with someone and you aren’t really feeling what you are supposed to before sex then don’t have sex because odds are that you aren’t going to be feeling too great about what happened if you weren’t sure you wanted to be intimate to begin with. If you are having casual sex then you should be sure you are okay with what you are doing and who you are doing it with.
Even in casual situations I always feel a very real intimate connection with my partner. I have always had some positive emotional connection with the men I have sex with. When I talk about the power of casual sex I am talking about controlling your emotional self. It is an exercise in emotional control but you should always feel something when you are having sex. You are literally connected to another person. If you are coming up blank then even I don’t see the point of fucking.
If you aren’t feeling connected to your partner, even casual ones, then something is up. You should be sleeping with partners who make you feel something. Like I’ve said before… I always feel a connection when I have sex and when the X-rated part has ended so does the connection. I don’t want to have sex without some level of intimate connection because if I did, I probably wouldn’t feel good about the experience and I’d probably feel bad about myself.
I have sex because I am meeting some important needs. It satisfies my desire for physical affection, intimacy and emotional connection. Whether or not the sex is casual I always feel those things because if I didn’t… I wouldn’t do it.