You Silly, Silly Bitches

I always find it amusing when someone bases their opinion of me on what someone else has told them without ever having met me, especially when the person feeding them their information has never met me either.

What I can tell you is this.  If you want to go around throwing out words like bitch and cunt with my name in the same sentence then I will gladly show how big of a bitch I can be.  The truth is I have been nice and I am trying to maintain what little composure I have left in what has been a very trying time for me.

Maybe it is time I let off a little steam.  So next time you want to blast me, someone you’ve never met or spoken to, please at least afford me the opportunity to respond.  I think that seems reasonable, don’t you?  I have become far too accustom to taking everything on the chin, from people who are supposed to care about me, who are supposed to have my back and who are really just out for self.  I have been trying to be humble but I’ll be damned if I am going to let a woman I don’t even know tell people who I am.

I am not a bitch.  I am actually nice and generous, often to my own detriment.  I try not to be overly judgmental and if I care about someone I am actually loyal to fault.  I don’t feel like any of that makes me bitchy at all but for you I could make an exception.

“You Are So Weird” II

A while back I wrote a post of things (quirks) in my personality that lead people to poke fun at me.  It a simple list of things that tend to invoke an either funny or seemingly irrational tirade/reaction to something that bothers me.  When I am going through a period of stress these things become more annoying to me.  As I am currently under some stress I have decided to share some more things that drive me nuts.

So without further ado I offer you a list of things that bother me and make me seem even weirder than I feel 99.9% of the time.

Feet: Feet are gross.  I don’t like looking at them.  I don’t understand how people could have a foot fetish at all. Footjobs are gross.  Feet, even the ‘nice ones,’ look like malformed hands to me.  I hate touching them and it is all I can do to maintain my composure if someone touches me with theirs.  I have an issue with open toe shoes for this reason.  If I am going to wear sandals I paint my nails because as much as I am grossed out by feet as a whole toes are the worst part and I have no desire to see anyone’s toenails, not even my own.  Toenails are disgusting and should be painted.  Fun side story… I have a friend who once told me her husband would trim his toenails and put them in a neat little pile on the nightstand next to their bed then eat them.  I think she was trying to make me puke.

Hairy balls:  I get that some men don’t do much in the way of manscaping.  If you keep everything trim and neat then I won’t complain( too much) but I firmly believe that every man on the planet should shave his balls.  Balls weird enough without being hairy.  They are disgusting.  I have a hard time going down on a dude if he has hairy nuts.  It makes everything down there seem unappealing to me and that is really hard to do, what with me loving cock and all.

Women who say things like “Cry like a little bitch”:  I dislike when women use references that are derogatory to all women.  If you have a vagina why would you say something that perpetuates a negative female stereotype?  Most women I know seem to have pretty high endurance/tolerance level for most things so expressions like this aren’t really even valid.  I just don’t like it when women say stupid shit that reflects poorly on them.

People who spit in public or where other people walk:  My son has a revolting habit of spitting all over my back porch.  It is so fucking gross.  As I mentioned in my last edition of “You Are So Weird” I have some very specific issues with bodily fluids so waking up to random piles of phlegm all over my patio makes me want to rub his nose in each and every one.   I also have issues with people who spit in public.  Listening to you suck snot into your mouth and then spit it out right in front of someone else is really attractive.

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