I have had trouble with my shoulder since 2006. As I age and I ignore it my shoulder gets worse. Last night it didn’t hurt that bad and it was easy to target the source of the pain. I debated using one of (yes one of!) my vibrators to try and work on the spot. It reminded me of a funny story involving my mother and how I used to drive her insane. I was funny even as a kid but my mom didn’t always think so.
I was fourteen and approached my mom, a Rolling Stone Magazine in hand, folded back to the mail order advertisements they used to hold.
Me: Mom, can you answer a question for me.
Mom: Sure honey. What is it?
Me: (Pointing out a vibrator a.k.a. neck massager on one of the back pages) This thing is a massager?
Mom: (Blushing a little) Yes, that’s what it says.
Me: (A smirk on my face. She totally walked into my trap) It’s for your neck? Why is it phallic shaped?
Mom: (Shocked I think she was trying to decide whether to be mortified or smack me) Phallic sha… ?
Me: Shaped like a penis.
Mom: I know what phallic means, Teri! Where did you hear that word?
Me: I read… (Rolls eyes)
Mom: What are you reading!?! Are you reading your grandmother’s books? (My grandmother had a 1000s of Harlequin Romance type novels and when my best friend Briana told me they were essentially porn I was obsessed with the books. It also forever changed how I looked at my grandma.)
Me: Is this a vibrator? (I was still smirking)
Mom: (At a complete loss as to what to do with me, snatches the magazine out of my hands) This magazine is for older girls. Go find something else to read.
I marched back up to my room trying not to laugh. I loved shocking my mother. I loved her to death but I also loved freaking her out. I think she let a lot slide because she knew how smart I was but I also think she wanted to make me wear a gag most of the time. I know plenty of mean who wish that I still wore a gag. Oh and I didn’t use one of (yes, one of!) my vibrators to rub my shoulder. I took some Naproxen and feel asleep.
Happy Tuesday!
Muah!
silentlyheardonce
/ May 22, 2012Look at the price for the dozen you can probably get one for that price today.
trjensen
/ May 22, 2012I know! I saw that.
silly_G
/ May 22, 2012Lol what would one do with a dozen
trjensen
/ May 22, 2012That is a lot of C batteries.
silentlyheardonce
/ May 22, 2012I guess they were disposable. Lol
trjensen
/ May 22, 2012I do have to say the C batteries in a vibrator would really give it some power. It would also be loud as hell! Definitely not something your could use discreetly.
trjensen
/ May 23, 2012All of my vibrators are disposable.
silentlyheardonce
/ May 23, 2012lol!
Jeanna
/ May 22, 2012That is a pretty great price….for a massage or a vibrator…
Pink Ninjabi
/ May 23, 2012You’re HILARIOUS! Your mother was quite clever with a cunning smarty like yourself. HAHA..
Pink.
The Eclectic LadyBird
/ May 23, 2012Haha..very subtle at the time, weren’t they?
trjensen
/ May 23, 2012LOL!
dribblingpensioner
/ May 23, 2012Only two batteries, that would not last to long
Jeanna
/ May 23, 2012lol no the batteries will last forever if you let them… but if you want the best….massage…. you should change them every 2nd or 3rd use… cough cough.
trjensen
/ May 23, 2012I burn through batteries. LOL! I also kill vibrators. And I change them very often.
Jeanna
/ May 23, 2012Agreed, ever notice how alive the thing seems again when you get a new set of batteries! Holy shit batman it’s like cheating!
trjensen
/ May 23, 2012Yes! I love that. The immediate change in intensity.
trjensen
/ May 23, 2012Not the way I’d use it. Most standard vibs only take AA now. I would like one that took Cs
The Wandering Mind
/ May 26, 2012Too funny. And here I thought you were innocent when you were younger.
Sex Toys
/ May 27, 2012Thanks, really interesting post for sex!!
Cakes McCain
/ June 1, 2012I remember that ad and there was some store in my town called “consumers distributing” and it was in their catalog! I knew there was something fishy about it! LOL!!! (no pun intended!!!!)
trjensen
/ June 1, 2012Ewwwww! ROFL!