Can I just say that I can’t remember the last time I was really this unhappy. I mean I am really unhappy! That alone is depressing enough to me.
I haven’t been writing much. My financial situation is still pretty precarious and I have been too busy trying to find any job that I haven’t had time to think about anything positive. A friend who owes me a lot of money said he’d have the bulk of this month’s rent for me then went and partied it all away. I was counting on it and now a little over week before rent is due I am fucking stuck in the same position I was last month.
I am angry and fucking hurt and scared fucking shitless. It seems I am incapable of being nice to anyone at the moment. I am snapping at everyone. I feel really on edge. I truly feel like I am losing control of everything. Hopefully things will get back on track soon. I may be able to go and live with a friend in July but I have a lot to do before that can happen.
Hopefully I’ll have something positive to say soon.