I decided I needed to offer a little more insight into the topic of dating a single mom. One of the scariest things for any single mother is letting a man into her children’s lives. It isn’t always the fear that someone might physically harm her child(ren) but that they run the risk of being emotionally damaged by her decision.
Single mothers, especially new single mothers, often feel the pressure to find a man while their child is still small. The more present that man is at an early age, the more likely the child is to accept and truly bond with him and vice versa. This pressure can stem from insecurity, a genuine need for support or misconception about how they may be perceived by society.
This puts women in a very precarious position. They run the risk of falling prey to one of the most common types of douche bag. I don’t know one single mother who hasn’t date this man and he is the reason she is cautious when she dates from that point further. This is a necessary lesson although a painful one to learn.
Every single mom dates the guy who will try to get to her by using her kids. She usually dates him early in her new role as a parent. I didn’t date much when my son was small and never involved men in my family so I learned this lesson when my son was much older. Men who aren’t serious about a relationship with a single mother often try to get her attention by expressing an interest in her child(ren). This is very enticing for a single mom. She has often resigned herself to the fact that she will have a difficult time finding someone to accept her circumstances let alone seem to embrace them. Men who do this are despicable.
This is generally the first timeshe will see her child’s heart break and it also the reason she will forever be hesitant to allow a man to be involved with her children. This “man” is an important part of learning how to be a single parent. He is a necessary evil. If you find yourself wanting a real relationship with a single mom you have to let her accept you in her own time. Don’t focus too much on her children or push the idea of group outings involving her kids.
She has learned her lesson and when she is ready to share her life with you she will. Don’t push her because odds are that her distance has nothing to do with how she feels about you and everything to do with wanting to protect her kids.