Mangina – Derisive term for a man’s feminine side - especially when he’s touchy or emotional about something seemingly minor.
As it is all too common knowledge, I have been having a rough couple of days. The day after my big fight with GwtS I was feeling better but definitely not fantastic. I really felt like I still just wanted to sit down and talk to someone about what I was feeling. I also really didn’t want to see anyone. (Ahhh the juxtaposition that is female anguish…)
Friday I made plans to have a friend date with the European. He is a pre-med student I went out with twice right after I actually split up with GwtS in November. He was to be my first attempt at implementing the five date rule. He was also my first failure at implementing the five date rule. I hadn’t seen him since December. He texted me when I was dating PB and I told him I was dating someone. He stopped texting but recently he was trying to make contact again. We had made plans to go have dinner and drinks on Friday.
When he texted me Wednesday to confirm Friday I told him I was having a bad day and he asked if I need someone to talk to. I agreed to let him come over. When he got there I told what was going on, focusing mostly on my man troubles. He sat and listened to me offering little commentary. He offered to go get some beer and we sat and talked and drank a little.
He managed to get me off the subject of GwtS. He scooted closer and though I was really not interested in any sort of physical action we started kissing. I am really not interested in him but it was a distraction and I needed it. I didn’t really want to talk to him and since we were making out I didn’t have to. After a while we moved to the bedroom and one thing led to another.
I have never been less interested in sex in my life and found myself completely disgusted with him the entire time. I literally gagged at one point. It wasn’t really him. I just didn’t want him like that and I knew it wasn’t going to make me feel any better. Still I chose to have sex with him. He tried to hold me after and I suggested we go out and watch a movie instead. We sat on the couch and finished another beer. He tried again to just sit and hold me but I scooted further away from him. I couldn’t have been less attracted to him if I had tried. He asked if I was hungry and offered to run across the street to get food.
I knew the moment he suggested making a food run he wasn’t coming back to my house and I was so relieved. He collected his things and told me he’d be right back. After about three minutes I got a text message. He asked if I was in love with GwtS. I asked him why that mattered to him. He noted it was all I talked about. I laughed out loud and reminded him that he had come over so I could vent. I didn’t ask him to, he offered. He sent a text saying that he felt used. I really didn’t care. He hadn’t been honest about his motive for coming. If it didn’t work out the way he wanted that was his issue. As far as I was concerned he got exactly what he came for. He told me he was going home and I told him I knew that he would before he left.
I really couldn’t stand the thought of sitting there with him. Not only had he been insincere about his motive for coming but he was also behaving like an insecure child after he achieved what he came to achieve. That is so unattractive to me. This inability to rationalize his own actions is so beyond unattractive.
He was grasping at straws in an attempt to make me feel guilty because I wasn’t falling all over myself to be with him. His dishonest attempt to “be there for me” hadn’t worked out the way he hoped so he was trying to play the victim. What he was doing was predatory at best but it turned out he was too sensitive. He just tried to take advantage of the wrong girl at the wrong time.
If I weren’t so amused by his reaction I would probably be upset with myself. It is nice to be the one teaching the lesson for a change. If I were interested in vagina I would date a girl.
The Wandering Mind
/ April 21, 2012I don’t know how to respond to this one. Why’d you bother going through with it if you were not interested in him & didn’t enjoy the experience?
Just asking.
I’ll come back later once I’ve wrapped my head around this.
trjensen
/ April 21, 2012It wan’t that I wasn’t interested in him… I actually thought I might have some emotional release. It just didn’t happen. Now I am not interested in him. The funny thing is the entire time I was writing this I knew I sounded like an asshole. I kept thinking Stephen is going to call me on this! LOL!.
The Wandering Mind
/ April 21, 2012So you obviously didn’t enjoy your bedroom Euro-trip & you didn’t want to talk with him. So who do you want to talk to?
You know shit’s off if I’m your moral compass. I don’t judge, just want to know where you’re coming from love.
trjensen
/ April 21, 2012I know you don’t judge. As I have said many times I often liken our experiences. My whole issue is that I really did want to talk and he pretended that he wanted to listen. What he wanted was to exploit, what he took as a moment of of emotional weakness. I never indicated that anything would happen between us if he came over but he pushed it and at certain point I thought a momentary escape might be the only thing this guy can offer so for him to act as though I wronged him is laughable and really unattractive.
I think the real issue here is that I don’t feel remorseful about it. I think he hoped to get me to sleep with him. I slept with him but didn’t give him the satisfaction of feeling like I was a conquest. I made a choice and I genuinely think that it bothered him that I didn’t instantly get stuck on him. He took it one step further by trying to manipulate me into feeling guilty for just having sex. As you know, I don’t feel guilty about sex. I thought “maybe I will feel better or at least less detached” if I have a little fun. I was wrong.
I would have been fine with him and the situation had he not tried to assume the role of the used when he came over with a clear objective that he achieved. His self esteem issues are his problem. If I chose to sleep with someone, knowing that they were not emotionally available it would be no one’s fault but my own. I was not a victim. I put myself in that situation.
Pink Ninjabi
/ April 21, 2012For some reason, I found this pic hilarious, and I’m sure that this has probably has been more tears than laughter for you as you go through these ups and downs. It is difficult when we’re hung up on one, and wanting the distraction of another. It’s part of who we are, and many often seek attention when we’re lacking the proper affection from another. May you always be strong and firm in the decisions you make, as our choices often aren’t easy.
Much love,
Pink.
silly_G
/ April 21, 2012Don’t beat yourself up or him over this one! Just the wrong guy to look to as a distraction… Just sucks when sex feels ugly. Lucky for you he made the food run
take care of yourself gorgeous
trjensen
/ April 22, 2012I just look at it as my attempt to feel less bad. It certainly didn’t work but I hate an irrationally clingy guy. It really freaks me out.
adollyciousirony
/ April 22, 2012Thanks for the new word “mangina” it’s cool!
Mudhammer
/ September 21, 2012It has long been my understanding that a mangina is the moose knuckle looking lamp in my nether regions is displayed in pants that are to small. Mangina should make one look like an international apple smuggler. I read this thinking you were weary of the bulge that is manhood. What a relief to find out you hate pussy-man boys as much as I do.
WordsFallFromMyEyes
/ September 21, 2012Wow. So very very honest. You gagged at one stage, & kept going. That’s sickening though, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve been with a man I didn’t want to more than once, but it’s not rape, is it? And you did it because you didn’t really want to talk to him & as you wee making out that solved that problem. OMG!!
I am stunned any man should feel used. I thought they never felt used, only felt scored. Wow, this sort of opened my eyes up.
The good thing about you, is you know what’s going on. You really know what’s going on.
trjensen
/ September 21, 2012You know, I just wanted to feel something else. Anything else but it just made it worse. It was bad to the point that I was the complete opposite of attracted to him. But for the record he wasn’t bad in bed. The idea of having sex with anyone would have made me sick.
The way he behaved after is what really bothered me on any emotional level. I was nauseous for a whole new reason then. It just taught me that I shouldn’t have sex with anyone when I feel emotionally compromised by someone else.
And I don’t give a shit about that guy or how he felt. He thought he would take advantage of me because I was sad. He got what he wanted and just like me it didn’t feel the way he thought it would.
Ben Naga
/ September 21, 2012As far as I can see, the “feminine” side of me is far and away the best part.
trjensen
/ September 21, 2012I walk a fine line when it comes to men and their feminine side. If you are whining about being mistreated when your intentions were insincere to begin with.
Ben Naga
/ September 21, 2012Sorry, I think were coming from quite different universes here. Nothing to do with whining. I *never* whine, I assure you.
kinkandotherthings
/ September 21, 2012Unlelated truth: One of my friends work emails is Mangina@ employer.com.
He has an unfortunate first name/last name combination.
trjensen
/ September 21, 2012That is awesome! I would be handing out my business cards left and right. LOL!
kinkandotherthings
/ September 21, 2012He asked for a change of email so it’s now amangin@employer.com
Fat Bottom Girl
/ September 22, 2012Seriously?? That guy is a total wuss & not a friend at all. He took advantage of the situation. He knew you were feeling bad, he bought some alcohol, & he thought he would step in & make some connection with you by poking you with his man tool. I hate guys who are total douche bag assholes, but I also can’t stand guys who are big pussies either. If a guy isn’t tougher than me, wtf do I need him for???
Md. Alsanda
/ September 23, 2012Thanks for passing by
seattlepolyguy
/ September 25, 2012Meh, we’ve all slept with someone where we wish we could have a do-over. Or, maybe, an UNdo-over. No harm, no foul.
Just push the douchebag out the door (sounds like you already did) and move on.
trjensen
/ September 25, 2012He was never really in the door. The second he offerd to bring beer with him I knew what he was up to. I hoped I was wrong but I wasn’t. He was my exception to the if you aren’t sure don’t do it rule. That is all the credit he’ll ever get from me.
butimbeautiful
/ September 25, 2012I’ve done that quite a few times, I know the sick feeling exactly. The picture of the guy tucking in his bits is quite weird looking!
Dating Douchebags
/ September 28, 2012Love it! I empathize! Thanks for checking out my blog as well!
))
Michael Cargill
/ October 1, 2012I’m transfixed by that picture.
What breed of European was he?
Um, hope things work out for you.
trjensen
/ October 1, 2012He was Spanish.
ctoby
/ October 3, 2012lmao hey, thanks for liking my new blog…and btw, there may not be an ‘I’ in ‘team’ but there is definitely a ME!
So there ya go. And PS: thanks for inadvertently leading me to the CCC rockin’ site!
trjensen
/ October 4, 2012No problem! The CCC is awesome.