To all my friends,

I have to tell you that I am completely overwhelmed and humbled by all the support and generosity you have extended me today.  I am hard to break.  I pride myself on that.  I was truly blindsided last night.  My guard was down and I was already having a hard night.  I was not prepared.  I really just needed someone to lean on.  I went to the one person I knew I could count on and he let me fall… hard!

All of your kind words and genuine love helped me get back up.  It is so unbelievable for a girl who feels like it has always been her against the world, trying to find someone to help bear the burden, to find that she has so many people who would stand by her and gladly let her lean on them.

Thank you so much!  I am proud to count you all as friends.

Much Love!

Always and Forever.

Teri

 

What the F*** Have You Done?

So I have had a rough day.  I am having some serious financial difficulties. (Like I may be homeless come the end of  the month difficulties.) I have not really talked about it to anyone until today.  I got on Facebook and talked the GwtS.

GwtS: i’m sorry you’re having bad day

Me:  It sucks because I really have no one to lean on when you are busy.  At least I know you care when I am having a rough time.

GwtS: i doooo :)

Me: I know you do :)   It means a lot. I really don’t have anyone, ya know?

GwtS: me neither

Me: You can always talk to me. No matter what.

GwtS: i know

Me: Hopefully soon you can take me drinking. :)

GwtS: i’m humping on 2 women 1 in the works you still want to hangout????

Me: Are you trying to be mean?

GwtS: no

That really happened!  He just fucking said that to me like it was no big deal!!!! The only guy I have had real feelings for in years just made me feel like I was just a series orfices.  My night went from a bad night to one of  the worst nights of my life.   It is three in the morning.  I have migraine from crying and he had the audacity to call and ask me to come over and talk to him about what is going on with me because he cares about me after he said that shit.

I am truly heartbroken and it has been so long since I have felt that way about anyone that I literally feel like I am going to die.  I am so hurt.  I feel like someone just ripped my heart out of my body through my throat and did the fucking jig on it until it was just a pile of goo.

What do you do when the one person who always made you feel like everything was going to be alright just made you feel like you never meant shit?  I don’t know how to deal with this.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,135 other followers