I know I always have a predicament. I will likely not be in a relationship anytime soon which is fine because I certainly don’t want one just to be in one. I never want to be that girl that can’t be alone. The truth is I can be alone because I have been alone forever. The issue isn’t that but that I do love someone who wants me in his life.
The problem is that he wants us to be more or less platonic. He has feelings for me but he also wants his family and that will always override anything he else he may want/have with someone else. What I feel for him is not platonic it all. I don’t think it can be. He is more than willing to fight to keep me in his life but doesn’t want what I want. He gets upset when I tell him I can’t be friends with him. It hurts me to see him unhappy but it may be the one thing I can’t do for him.
I don’t want to be his friend. I want him in my life but not as a friend. I view him as so much more. I need all or nothing and I am going to wind up with nothing. I feel pretty rejected and he doesn’t understand. He just wants me to be in life. It is so frustrating I have been crying off and on for a couple of days now. I feel selfish telling him that I just can’t be his friend and still support him even though I truly do love him but I have to draw the line somewhere, right? I have to say enough is enough and walk away. I feel like I am hypocrite.