I love him. It doesn’t matter if anything comes of it either because I know I am not alone in that feeling. Of course I want us to be together and I know that we could make each other happy. Funny how I started the week writing about him and found myself snuggled up against him, in his arms and waking up next to him for four consecutive days. I missed him. How could I not? I had given another person a piece of my heart and I didn’t realize it was missing until he came back with it. I was whole again.
When I met him at the door Monday, I was hit with a wall of emotion that matched what I was experiencing in that very moment. I had been carrying a piece of him with me and hadn’t even known it. I was trembling and grabbed him and hugged him to steady myself. He just held me. We talked for hours. We sat together looking into each other’s eyes. I missed his smile. It is infectious. You see that huge smile and you can’t help but smile back at him.
He is resilient and stronger than even he realizes. I have sat and listened to him tell stories about his past and even though I have seen some dark times of my own, he seems almost un-phased by the things he has seen and experienced. He doesn’t carry scars the way so many people do… the way I do. He is free; it is what I love about him. It is what makes me want to protect him and tell him every day that he is one of the most amazing people I have ever and will ever know.
I don’t think I ever said I loved him out loud until earlier today although I knew I did. There is something freeing about saying it. I would do everything for this man because as I said before, I want him to be happy. I want him to be happy even if it means I might have to be sad. What I really want is for us to be happy together. I want achieve my dreams with him. I want him to achieve his and let me be a part of celebrating those successes.
I want him to have everything he wants. I really hope that includes me.