Casual sex is simple really. Of course everything can get complicated. You have to understand the nature of the encounter. You have to be aware of the nature of your relationship with your sexual partner. You have to be clear, even if only with yourself, about what you are wanting. If you understand the situation and there is no confusion about what is going transpire then sex is simple. If you are conflicted then the whole experience can be emotionally damaging.
There are three basic forms of casual sex, “The One Night Stand,” “The Booty Call,” and “The Friend with Benefits.” Most casual sex encounters can easily fall into one these three categories.
The One Night Stand
A one night stand is simple and the easiest way to control your emotions in a casual sex situation. A one night stand isn’t necessarily just “randomly hooking up with a guy at a bar” situation. It is any situation where you are physically attracted to someone and want to act on it. This impulse is only indulged once. You have sex understanding the only thing you feel for your partner is lust. If you are confusing your lust with any other misconception about emotional connection then don’t have sex with that person.
The Booty Call
Booty calls typically evolve from a one night stand. You fucked once. You liked fucking. You want to fuck again and again and again. The important thing to remember in this situation is that you have to be able to separate your emotions. This isn’t a budding romance, it is carnal and hedonistic. You enjoy each other in a physical sense. Don’t get involved in each other’s personal lives. You have already established a relationship based on sex. Your partner will typically have no regard for you other than as a sexual partner. Your relationship was founded on sex and it isn’t going to change. Don’t convince yourself there is potential for something more. This is just going to result in you getting hurt.
The Friend with Benefits
You have a friend. You have always wondered what it would be like to have sex with them. You either express a desire to have sex or you get drunk one night and hook up. You decide that you like sleeping together so you continue to do so. A friend with benefits situation is only pseudo casual sex. It is also potentially the most hazardous of the three. If you are friends with this individual then there is an emotional connection between you. You know each other in a different capacity than someone who just makes your nether regions tingle. If you can’t separate your friendship from the act then don’t continue having sex. You will destroy your friendship and you will get hurt.
You have to be realistic about what you’re feeling, and if you are truly capable of separating how you feel, If you aren’t sure how you feel about your sex partner then things will get messy really fast. Casual sex can be amazing but it isn’t like sex in a relationship. It is intense moments of intimacy that are isolated to the act itself. Most people can’t have sex and feel nothing. I can’t but I love the immediacy of the connection I feel in casual sex. I also enjoy that it is only temporary. It allows you to have an emotional and physical release without all of the confusion of what comes next. If you are capable of understanding and dealing with that then enjoy the experience for what it is. If you are reading this and thinking I could never do that… then don’t. If you can’t keep it simple; don’t risk your heart. I would never advocate for anyone doing something that is self-destructive. Just be honest with yourself and how you feel.