I spent a lot of time changing some of the things I didn’t like about myself. I guess it was just about tweaking what didn’t work for me and becoming a version of myself that I was more proud of. The physical changes are apparent. Most people tell me I look nothing like I did a few years ago. The emotional changes are harder to explain. My outlook on life changed. The way I feel about myself changed. The way I approach so many things has changed. I had a very long list of things I wanted to work on and I did. Most of it stuck. I am more optimistic, more confident and I am typically pretty happy. A few things didn’t stick because they really where part of what makes me the girl I love. Unfortunately, it is also what makes some people want to choke the life out of me, (which secretly makes me like those things about me more.)
I am blunt and sarcastic. I once dated a guy who said I was one of the most sarcastic people he has ever met in his life and that it was “off putting.” I love sarcasm. I also love when someone can fire right back at me. A quick wit is something I find so appealing in another person. If I can dish out shit and tease then we’ll be friends. If you tease me back then we’ll be friends for life. But many people don’t like me for the same reason. I am accused of being smug and insensitive. It is one of the things I thought I needed to work on but it never took. It is really part of who I am. I am never intentionally malicious but my teasing is misconstrued as such. If you can’t take a little (okay a lot) of goading you just won’t like me.
The other trait I thought I needed to work on was my vulgarity. I can say wildly inappropriate things at the drop of a hat. I swear like a trucker and my main choices for topics of discussion are seldom the first thing that pops into my friend’s heads. My mind resides in the gutter. I have managed to curb my desire to crack inappropriate jokes on dates but then I feel like I am not being honest about who I am. I know when I need to watch what I say. I know when I need to bite my tongue. But if you say anything that can be twisted into something dirty, I am going to make comment. The people who know me best know this about me. They have accepted it and almost expect it to happen.
The two things that probably drive people the most crazy about me are two of the things I love most about myself. The good thing about these two qualities is that they help to weed people out of my social circle that are never really going to be happy there. If you can’t laugh at yourself and be comfortable with who you are then you definitely don’t want to go out drinking with any of my friends. Some people take it too personally or feel like they are being singled out. I always remind them that if I didn’t like them they wouldn’t be a topic of discussion. Some people prefer it that way. That is fine by me. Some things aren’t meant to be changed. If you think I am an asshole then I probably am but I am also funny, warm and open. It is all about perception.
A Single Parent's Life
/ February 27, 2012I tagged you here
http://asingleparentslife.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=241&action=edit&message=6&postpost=v2
mysterycoach
/ February 27, 2012Are you the same “live” you know, outside of blog land as you are here?
I mean… you know, we’re simply not for everyone. I’m not.
I’m hyper and I don’t coddle people well after a while but I care a lot about them. Depends on the situation though… We all have these variables in our personality and it is who we are… some things we can change, other things are part of our personality.
I’m going to be over protective of others, probably until the day I leave the planet. BUT those who hate it love it when it’s on their behalf… you know at the end of the day… be you honey. Fuck it
LOL …
You outta hear me vent… you may have seen me vent on my blog from time to time? Cursing abounds mon!
Us humans man. Complex things aren’t we?
Be you. It’s enough… (wink)
trjensen
/ February 27, 2012Am I the same way “live” as I am in my blog… That is a good question. Yes. I think what I write really translates to who I am. I think it funny when people don’t like me “because I say what I think.” I am so amused by it. I really like myself, ya’ know? I don’t want to have to be guarded with everybody. How sucky would that be.
My whole thing with that is just like you said “I am going to do me and you can do you.” And most of the time peopole get that. SOme want to try and go rounds and get upset but I the reason that they normally can’t get under my skin is because I try not to take myself too seriously.
mysterycoach
/ February 28, 2012Well… I mean, I know it’s important to be liked. I like being liked
who doesn’t but how is their opinion relevant really? I can see constructive suggestions from people or people referencing something I may not see that I’m doing. I’m a fan.
It’s like, the time my friends upstate told me (everyone gossips up there, much like me but not in a vicious way) and they said something about my being tough, like it was a bad thing. My friend put them all in their place because they don’t “really” know me. And that’s right where I went with it too. I said, “Oh. Really. And they’ve lived my life, saw what I’ve been through, see me every day to make this assessment of who I am?” She thinks its funny when I’m venting LOL
I had to also temper my dirty joke stuff based on the group which is fine. That humor isn’t for everyone, we know when to go there and when not to.
Well… who exactly is making these assessments about these things? Personally, I’m open to suggestion but … there is that line where people assume they know best about you and who you are and they want you to be who THEY want you to be. That’s no good. I have a friend who is a good person but I’ve noticed recently they speak to me like a parental figure. And last time I checked, I’m an adult, and you acting like you’re a parental figure in any way, coming across like that is really NOT going to work. I consistently have to remind him… how to talk to me. I am not a child and you are not my keeper. He listens though, he’ll pull back in however it is annoying to have to deal with that and it makes me not want to speak to him all that often.
So, fuck’m … why go rounds. I don’t know what that means but maybe they need to focus on themselves a bit more and not what your doing. Ya feeling me honey!
trjensen
/ February 28, 2012I totally agree.
Summer
/ February 27, 2012Sarcasm is a sign of high intelligence – at least that’s what I’ve always heard.
lizziecracked
/ February 28, 2012Well I like you. What;s your comeback to that? huh? hell I don;t even know where THAT came from and it sounded better than it looks – it looks silly.. But I do like you.
trjensen
/ February 28, 2012A lot of people do. I actually think it is funny when someone doesn’t. I am always of the mindset that that says more about them than it does me.
lizziecracked
/ February 28, 2012true true
silentlyheardonce
/ February 28, 2012Who cares if some one likes you or not you like yourself, you’re the one you have to live with. And if people can’t take a joke it’s their problem.
trjensen
/ February 28, 2012Exactly. I love me and I love my personality. It is all about not losing yourself to please other people. That is just who I am and if people can’t accept it that is okay too.
silentlyheardonce
/ February 28, 2012Good for you!!
Jeanna
/ February 28, 2012well they’re all things we love about you!!! I know I definitely wish I could stalk you in the real world… cough cough… I mean be your friend. um. awkward.
trjensen
/ February 28, 2012I wish you could stalk me too.
evilnymphstuff
/ February 29, 2012It’s good to analyse what you want to change in you but there are things that isn’t necessary. No one is perfect and no one can please anyone either.
trjensen
/ February 29, 2012I know sweetie. Thank you! Those are things about myself I have no desire to change.