I was nominated for two more awards (well actually it was three but I have already received one of the awards this year.) I, being the glory hog and lover of accolades that I am, wanted to split the two awards up and do two separate posts about each award but the person who nominated me did such a great job of combining the rules for both that I decided to do a dual acceptance and keep the rules the way they were when they were awarded to me.
The lovely and talented , Janice at Aurora Morealist, nominated me for both the “One Lovely Blog” Award and the “Kreativ Blogger” Award. I am really thrilled an honored to be continually recognized by my very talented peers. Aurora Morealist is an amazing blog. I love her writing because it is both humorous and honest. It is fantastic to be acknowledged by such a talented writer. You should definitely take some time to check out her blog. I guarantee you’ll be hooked. Thanks Janice!
The rules are as follows:
- Thank the person who nominated you.
- Name your nominated blogs 10-15 is the standard number. Then notify them that you have done so.
- Share seven things about yourself.
So here goes…
Thank you again Janice. I love, love, love your blog and I am glad you like mine too.
And the blogs I nominate are… I wish I had a drum roll…
My Ideal Woman
The Lady in Red Ink
Nubian Princess 25
Cafe Girl Chronicles
The Tale of My Heart
Misadventures in Cleveland Dating
Sharing seven things about me is getting harder to do!
- When I am in a really good mood people typically tell me I am being mean. I have pretty dark sense of humor.
- I love cotton candy.
- Most of friends won’t play movie trivia games with me because I always win.
- I have had sex with more people this year than I did in the first seven years I was having sex.
- I am an insomniac.
- My son now refuses to meet any man I date because he assumes I am only attracted to douchebags thanks to the last two.
- I have a drawer full of “date” panties. All of my date panties still have the tags on them. After I have pulled a tag off a pair for a date they go into everyday panty drawer and I wear them all the time. When the “date” panty drawer starts getting low, I go to Victoria’s Secret and buy more. So basically I wear a new pair of panties on every date.
Posted by trjensen on December 30, 2011
As anyone who reads my blog knows, I’ve had rough month financially and emotionally. I have had trouble finding the joy I usually experience around the holidays. I love Christmas and I have had a hard time getting into the spirit this year. Christmas is a time for sharing, giving and love. I have been so blessed this year and I have spent most of the evening reflecting on all the things that have exemplified all that I have been overlooking.
I have an amazing support system and although I don’t have many living family members the ones I do have are amazing and I am so grateful . I also have an amazing group of friends who support me when I am low and lift me higher when everything in my life is going well. I never have to deal with more than I can handle although sometimes it feels like everything happens at once. I am strong! I know I am strong and regardless of how much I might struggle in a given situation I always have the support of my loved ones to help see me through.
This blog has been an important part of my life and I am so proud of what I am glad that I have the opportunity to share (and vent about) my life with such an amazing group of talented writers. I am in great company. I feel so blessed to have the support of my fellow bloggers. You have all shared so much of yourselves and now I have an entirely new group of friends.
I want to wish everyone in my life Happy Holidays and a truly Happy New Year!
Posted by trjensen on December 25, 2011
I don’t know what I was thinking. Okay that isn’t entirely true. I thought maybe having a nice dinner with another adult would put me in the right frame of mind come Christmas day. Aside from potentially cheering me up I didn’t really think my Christmas Eve date out very well.
This morning the hot European text me and asked if we could meet earlier or next week because his family’s celebration was starting earlier than he thought. I said nextweek would be fine but then he said he still really wanted to go out , we would just have to cut it short because he had to drive to his family’s house. And we’d have to meet earlier than we planned. We agreed to go at 4:00 p.m.
He showed up at my place looking cute as hell and we headed to a local restaurant. Guess what!?!?! It closed at four because it was Christmas Eve. We decided to check another place across the street and it was closed to. We decided to go to a little 24 hour diner to sit and chat for a while. Trying to find a place had taken up nearly an hour of the two we had planned on spending together.
We sat at the diner, drank a couple of beers and talked. We talked about college (he’s pre-med,) our work and being shot. (He was shot during a robbery.) It was a very brief but nice date. We made plans to see each other again on Friday. But I still feel a little silly for scheduling a date on Christmas Eve. I didn’t really think that one through.
And yes, I kept myself to myself.
Posted by trjensen on December 24, 2011
While I don’t entirely agree that I am violating my five date rule by sleeping with someone I am NOT dating, you all gave me some things to think about so I cancelled with “Friday Guy.” I feel like any booty call doesn’t apply but for now I’ll be patient. (For now…)
Posted by trjensen on December 22, 2011
I have to confess I was a little confused by some of the comments I read when I initially wrote my post defending casual sex. There were lots of comments about sex being to intimate or how there is no connection on a amotional level. That had not been my experience with casual sex at all. I have never had sex and not had some sort of intimate emotional connection with my partner. It is immediate and often brief but still there. I could never have sex and not feel something. That connection is what I look for in sex. I can control that emotional connection and that is what I talked about in my previous post.
My aim was to learn to control those feelings rather than let those feelings control me. Sometimes I need to connect with someone on an intimate level. I need to feel vunerable and open but I don’t want that feeling to linger.
I found an article that explores that desire. You can read it here.
Posted by trjensen on December 22, 2011
Today I casually mentioned to a friend that I was entertaining company of the booty call variety Friday. She asked what happened to my five date rule and I told her I had no desire to date the guy. The five date rule doesn’t apply to a booty call. I do want a relationship but not with this guy. I want to have sex. The whole disagreement stems from her belief that if I have a fuck buddy the five date rule counts for nothing. My argument is that I don’t have a boyfriend, I am not cheating on anyone and “Friday Guy” is there for one reason and one reason only. She and I agreed to leave it to you dear readers. She is going to write her argument here and I will briefly respond. Then whatever you decide is what I will do. Friday Guy: Yay or Nay?
First let me start by introducing myself. I’m the kind of girl who will tell it like it is. If it needs to be said I will say it. I think that everyone deserve the absolute truth even when it’s not exactly what they want to hear. Which is why I cannot stand by and let “The Narcissist” continue to create her own “rules” to the five date rule. Being a concerned friend I believe her loopholes for the five date rule are ridiculous. I’m not an expert in these types of situations. I have known her for about six years, and can agree with her that she does need to be in a healthy relationship with a man. I believe that the five date rule is a perfect way for her to get to know a man before making the decision to have sex with them. Although she has no desire to have a relationship with “Friday Guy” is it really best if she gives him the pass on the five date rule? I understand that this man is only someone to have sex with. Not for anything more. Even so, she mentioned in a post for her blog The Five Date Rule that she needs to stop letting her “overactive sex drive” get the best of her. Isn’t she letting it get the best of her if she continues to have sexual intercourse with men she does not wish to have a relationship with? She wishes to be able to have some sort of self-control when it comes to having sex, but if she only applies the five date rule to certain men that would defeat the purpose.
I understand that if I am trying to find a relationship then I need to be more discerning about who I sleep with and when I sleep with a man. I also said I want to have sex. The thing with “Friday Guy” has been in place for a while. He is never going to be an option for me in a relationship, he is however a way to scratch an itch, thus alleviating some of the pressure I might feel when on a date with a man I might see more potential in, strengthening my willpower with a man I might want something more with. I wouldn’t continue to do so if I felt I could have something more significant with a “Five Date Rule Guy.” I don’t like sleeping with more than one man at a time. That hasn’t and isn’t going to change.
If you have the chicken pox do you scratch and risk leaving scars? No, because there is this thing called self-control. Not every itch has to be scratched.
So there you go dear readers. Can I have sex with “Friday Guy” and not be breaking my own rule? I am leaving it up to you.
Posted by trjensen on December 21, 2011
I have decided to impose a five date rule on myself from here on in. Why five dates? Because I really, really want to get laid and I need to stop letting my overactive sex drive get the best of me. Having sex too quickly generally plants me in the fuck buddy zone and I already have few of those lined up so I don’t need a new one. Any more than five dates and I could find a reason not to have sex with anyone. Five dates may be slightly longer than I can comfortably manage. ( I can do it.) I really need to give myself more time to make an informed decision. I also need to stop slutting it up with guys who are willing to just spend time with me with no promise that I would ever sleep with them.
That being said, I am getting to the point where I am horny as hell and I have a date with a very attractive European on Saturday night. (Pay no attention to the accent, Teri! He will still have an accent on the fifth date.) So I guess I need to work on strengthening my resolve. It has been a nearly a month since I’ve had sex and a few more weeks won’t kill me. (At least I hope not!)
It is odd that my life has changed so drastically. I went from not having sex for over a decade and really sort of losing interest in men to having to implement rules to restrain myself from just having sex. (I really want to have sex!) I want something more substantial than just sex. I want to try for something more, something more significant. I am going to try to make it five dates and my vagina will just have to deal with it.
Posted by trjensen on December 19, 2011
My life would be simpler if . . .
- I could like the guys who like me, back.
- my son listened to me.
- my friends weren’t crazy.
- I was rich.
- I didn’t live in a cartoon.
- my youth wasn’t one continuous after school special.
- I didn’t want to be better.
- I didn’t always want.
The question is . . . Would I be happy? Shit no! I could always be happier but I am learning to appreciate my life and what I have to learn from it. Some of these things might make my life a little easier but I don’t think they’d make me happier. I need the struggle. I need the experience. That is how I became who I am. It is why I wanted to be better. I thrive when challenged. I guess I am glutton for punishment but I have to learn through experience. Its like my father always said, “You have to learn everything the hard way don’t ya’?” I guess he was right.
Posted by trjensen on December 17, 2011
First let me say I have to do this. It isn’t a full retraction; it is however an apology for hurting someone’s feelings because mine were hurt and quite frankly I was more than a little pissed off. Regardless of what I am feeling now I meant what I said about caring and I never want to hurt someone I care about based largely on assumptions regardless of whether or not they are based on fact.
You know who you are,
I was surprised when IM’d me today, after reading my blog, upset about the fact I felt you would not repay your debt to me. I did my best to explain why I felt the way I did. I am hurt. I am angry. I am listening to other people and didn’t take you at your word. Regardless of the excuse my assumptions that you had no intention of repaying me were just that, assumptions. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.
The thing is the direr my financial situation became the more stressed and worried I was about the money. I could just use it but you don’t have it and if you say you will pay me back then I am going to take you at your word. You have never been dishonest with me and I had no right to doubt you.
You’ve almost completely turned your back on me and it was easy for me to assume that was because you have no intention of paying me back. Today you told me you would and I believe you. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. My only defense is I am hurt too. That is a pretty juvenile excuse and the truth is I am better than that. I was happy when we were together and I guess I am hurt more than I want to admit that we are not anymore.
I am sorry.
Posted by trjensen on December 16, 2011