(Or More Reasons I Belong in the CCC)

I am quirky. I know I am quirky and it something that most of my friends find amusing. Some people think I am just crazy. Here are a few of the things that drive me nuts.

COTTON – I hate cotton. I don’t mind cotton clothing I mean cotton. I don’t like cotton balls. I hate to touch it. I take nail polish off with paper towels. I am getting used to the idea of q-tips, as I wear make-up and need q-tips. One of the things that bothers me most is when cotton is packed in a bottle (like an aspirin bottle.) I can’t pull it out because it snags on the mouth of the bottle and it starts to pull apart. ICK!!! I hate cotton.

STYROFOAM – I don’t dislike for environmental reasons. It is bad for the environment and that bothers me but the reason I dislike Styrofoam is the noise it makes. It makes a kinda’ squeaky, nails on a chalkboard sound. I hate when my food or drink comes in something Styrofoam and I will typical transfer it to another container before I can even eat or drink.

CHEWING LOUDLY – This is one of my biggest pet peeves and also a breach in etiquette. I really cannot stand to listen to people eat or chew. Loud eaters drive me crazy. It is rude and no one wants to hear anyone else chew. If you chew with your mouth open or talk with your mouth full, you can pretty much guarantee I won’t be eating with you again. This is one dislike that I can explain. My father had the same issue with loud eaters and “conditioned” my brother and I to be very quiet eaters and drinkers, thus instilling in us, a disdain for noisy (piggy) eaters. I just want people to eat quietly and chew with their mouths shut.

BUGS -To be more specific, I am really scared of moths, grasshoppers, crickets and mantises. These specific bugs scare the shit out of me. I think my issue with them is that they don’t brush off as easily as other bugs. They seem sticky to me. No other bugs really bother me. I don’t want them crawling on me but I am not afraid of them.

KLEENEX – Again this is a textural thing and it is one of my weirdest quirks because it makes no sense. I do not have an issue with all tissue. . . just facial tissue. I have no problem with the stuff you shove in gift bags or with toilet paper. (Actually, now that I am writing this I guess I might mildly dislike those things but not nearly as much as facial tissue.) I hate the way facial tissue feels and if it is folded over or doubled up and rubbed together it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. For some reason the idea of two sheets of tissue rubbing together makes me cringe.

STICKY – I don’t really like sticky things. I more directly have problems with sticky hard surfaces and dirty faces. This is normally an issue I experience when I am around children. (But I do like kids.)

“MOIST” – Shit. Fuck. Hell. Damn. I have a dirty mouth and I have no problem with just about any form of profanity but when someone says moist I want to hit him/her in the face.

BODY FLUIDS See sticky.

GAS IN PUBLIC – First of all, I don’t ever want anyone to fart anywhere in my general area. It is just gross. I don’t care if it is natural . . . it is fucking gross. Secondly, if you burp try to be quiet about it and excuse yourself when you do it. I realize that it happens but you don’t have to burp loudly. I know one woman who will burp loudly anywhere and then say, “Excuussseeee me!” Then she is snarky when I give her a look. That is gross and not at all attractive. Have some manners.

I think these are the weirdest and/or biggest quirks I have. Some are pretty legitimate. I know it is funny. I get made fun of for many of these.