There is only one thing I think I find less attractive in a man than being a sissy but that is a blog for another day (or next month.) I don’t mind a certain degree of sensitivity. If we are close or getting there and you are having some personal or work related issue you need to talk about, of course I want to support you. I am not talking about working out issues with someone whom you care for that just needs you to listen or maybe give your take on the situation. Hell, I am even willing to offer advice.
What I am talking about are whiny men. Men who you are dating or interested in dating, talking about what a bad day they had because someone was mean to them or men who ever says something that sounds like, “that makes me sad.” I like men who act like men, men who will tell you when they are truly upset or hurt, men that can articulate what is bothering them rather than pouting because the guy at the drive thru didn’t give you taco sauce.
Recently I was talking to a guy online. He started sending me emails. He was cute and we had similar interests. One day when he got home from work he IM’d me and I asked how his day was.
Me: Hi! How are you?
Guy: I have had the worst day I have had in a long time. You?
Me: I can’t follow that… What happened?
Guy: People were just being really mean today.
(I instantly wanted to stop talking to him.)
Me: What do you mean?
Guy: People just weren’t being nice.
Me: Well you know you could just ignore it? You do have some control over whether or not you are subjected to mistreatment.
Guy: … BRB I have to go pull clothes out of the dryer
I waited a few seconds and logged off. It may seem mean but that totally bothered me. Maybe if he had one concrete example, something in particular to highlight but… people were mean? People can be very mean! That is a given. You don’t see everyone else in the city pouting about other people’s bad attitudes. I hate whiny people but in men I might otherwise be interested in it is a deal breaker. I can’t date someone who articulates and handles (?) life’s daily tribulations the way a pre-school child would.
I want a man. I want a guy who can handle his emotions but will say something when he needs support. I don’t want a guy who can’t deal with his daily life or feels that whining is the appropriate way to do so. That is in no way attractive. Whining is not sexy. The only time I can tolerate a minimal amount of whining is when my man is sick (but it still isn’t cute.)