I am going to be doing another monthly post. I am going to share a problem I seem to be experiencing and take suggestions on how my readers think I might be able to fix it. This particular subject will likely cover broader subject matter because I have problems in a lot of areas.
One the things I do when I want to have sex with someone (and it really doesn’t matter if I genuinely want something with the person or I just want to have sex with some guy I know who is cool,) is that I get over eager. Being over eager looks like A) you are desperate or B) you are going wind up crazy, making everyone involved life hell. I am not desperate. I have no issue getting laid but I am selective and thus do tend to get excited when an opportunity presents itself with someone I would actually like to sleep with. Crazy Teri typically only shows up when I actually really like the guy I am sleeping with but haven’t bothered to tell him so thus becoming clingy and weird when said sex is over.
Right now I am interested in a friend. It isn’t the” I want a relationship” interested; actually the whole situation is appealing to me because he lives in another state, he is a good friend of mine and I am physically attracted to him. A relationship is out of the question. It just so happens that at one point (I’ll explain that in a minute) the feeling was mutual and we even had a plan. But then I started getting excited about it. I am seldom attracted to my friends. Typically even if they are hot I know too much about them and they just aren’t an option for me at that point. Long story short, I don’t know many guys I would sleep with.
I digressed. So I start getting excited about our plan and I start talking to him about it, a lot… too much. I asked if he was still coming and when. He started getting annoyed and so I apologized (Crazy Girl!) And now, although he is far too sweet to say so I sure he thinks I want a relationship. The whole appeal of him visiting was because there wouldn’t be any of the pressure of us actually wanting a relationship because it seems so logistically impossible and I really would love to see him. That is why I got so excited and was pushing for him to come. For me it is the best possible scenario in a non-committal relationship. I know he cares about me and would never intentionally hurt me. I know we will still be friends afterward. And he is hot dammit!
As I have said time and time again, I like sex but I am not sleeping with someone I am not attracted to. I need to be able to trust my partner and feel appreciated. But I can’t get overzealous about it. I am bummed because I really think I fucked this up. I know we will always be friends but I wanted to get laid. I need to stop making a thing out of everything. Advice is welcome.