What I am about to tell you is really none of my fucking business but because my new neighbors seem hell bent on broadcasting their marital woes from the open window of their apartment at full volume I figure I shouldn’t feel too concerned about discussing how it is negatively impacting my idealistic views on having a partner of my own. My neighbors are not in happy relationship. This isn’t speculation. It is a fact. I know it. They know it. Fuck, I am pretty sure the entire neighborhood knows it. If I were ever in relationship that even remotely resembled the one across the lawn from me I would run screaming from the house.
About a week after I moved in it started. One night I was playing around on my computer, in the living room when I heard yelling. Sean, who was on the back porch smoking, opened the sliding glass door and said, “The neighbors are fighting.” I informed him that I could hear them from inside the house. They were screaming at each other. They were screaming at each other because the man in the house wanted to have sex with his wife and she did not feel inclined to oblige him. Do people really yell at each other about those things, yell so loudly their neighbors can hear it inside their apartments and blog about it? After about an hour of arguing, the yelling was replaced by the sounds of the man crying. Yes crying! In another minute he began begging her to sleep with him. After about five minutes of begging she conceded. Thankfully they were quiet after that.
The loud bickering has continued two or three times a week ever since. Earlier today, my living room was again, filled with the sounds of their arguing. This time they were arguing because the woman had confessed she was seeing another man. Again, divulging this information at such a volume I could hear it from inside my apartment. They are still arguing. She does not want him to leave but is berating as she demands he not walk out. It is insane.
Having been subjected to their very personal relationship drama for two months now has made me cranky and a little discouraged about relationships. How could two people let something get so bad? It is disturbing. The reason it bothers me is because I can see myself in that situation. Not begging for sex but putting up with things for far longer than I should. A myriad of issues in their “real” relationship mirror things I have experienced in all my fake ones. How could someone maintain a pseudo-relationship that results in marriage and procreation? The idea that this can happen is terrifying to me.
I feel sorry for them. I think everyone who has had to listen to their public, private arguments can relate to some aspect of what they are going through but they don’t really have a relationship. There is no trust there. There is no mutual respect there. Shit there doesn’t seem to be any love there. If I ever, ever get to that point with anyone and can’t see that walking away is the only option, please, please shoot me. It is another lesson. I know I don’t want that and this one I didn’t have to learn the hard way.